


The Girlfriend

by Sindra_Falcone



Series: The Nannyverse [2]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Light Smut, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:33:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23598427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sindra_Falcone/pseuds/Sindra_Falcone
Summary: Part 2 of "The Nanny" series. Otherwise lovingly known as the "Nannyverse"
Relationships: Choi Seunghyun | T.O.P./You
Series: The Nannyverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1698616
Comments: 48
Kudos: 23





	1. 100 days & a Surprise Trip

**Author's Note:**

> (**Please note: This series was written in full about 2-3 years ago. Therefore, Seungri does make appearances in it & he is written in a positive light. If that’s going to bother you, this might not be the fic for you.**)
> 
> Warnings: The last 1/3 of this chapter is rated M (to be safe). I will separate it with a line of asterisk like this: *******. So, if you do not want to read the rated content, STOP at that line! It is not explicit, but it is still hot and heavy. You have been warned!
> 
> Author’s Note: Part two! *squee* Enjoy the fluff while it lasts, people… because the angst train will be pulling into the station very soon.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

A mere three days after you had become an official couple, Seung Hyun was gone again. But he was able to make it home on Valentine’s Day to enjoy the chocolate truffles that you made him. And he was also there on White Day, gifting you with a rather large box of intricately crafted candies. You’d ended up sharing them with Yeon Jun just so you wouldn’t get a stomachache from eating them all.

Unfortunately for the both of you, the story was not the same for your 100 day anniversary. After having spent most of March with you, he’d had to leave once more just before April came around. You made sure that he packed his gift from you after gaining his promise that he wouldn’t open it until the video chat that the two of you had planned for the actual day.

That day, April 9th, was finally here. As it was a Saturday, you didn’t have any Nanny duties for the day and decided to sleep in. Considering that you were going to be up late for your chat with Seung Hyun, it seemed like a good idea.

Just after lunch, you were surprised by the doorbell ringing. Opening the door had revealed a delivery man holding a dozen red roses in a gorgeous cut crystal vase.

“I have a delivery here for ____________?” he asked.

“Oh, that’s me.” you said in surprise as you took the vase from him carefully.

“There’s also this.” he said, handing you a small white box that looked suspiciously like the one your earrings had come in at Christmas. “Have a nice day, Ma'am.” he told you with a smile as he left.

You took the flowers into the living room and placed both them and the box on the coffee table. Looking carefully through the fragrant blooms, you finally found the small card.

‘Happy 100 days, _________.’ it read in Seung Hyun’s familiar handwriting. ‘I’m sorry I can’t be with you today, but I look forward to our chat later. P.S. Don’t open the box until then! Yours- Seung Hyun’

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Around 11 pm you were perched on the sofa awaiting Seung Hyun’s arrival in the video chat that you had set up. When it finally signaled that he was online, you felt your heartbeat quicken. He’d only been gone a week, but you missed him terribly. The fuzzy image managed to sharpen and Seung Hyun’s handsome features came into view, causing you to smile widely.

“There’s that smile I’ve missed so much!” he said with a smile of his own. “How has your day been, ______ -ah? Did you get the flowers I sent?”

“Yes, I did! Thank you. They’re beautiful.” you gushed.

“Not as beautiful as you, gongju-nim… even through a computer screen.” he said, winking at you.

“Seung Hyun-ah!!!” you whined. “Stop… you’re making me blush!”

“I know.” he laughed. “I love it when you blush.”

After the two of you had chatted for about 30 minutes, he said. “So… presents?”

“Hmmm? What about them?’ you teased, knowing that he was dying to know what you’d gotten for him.

“Can we open them now? And can I go first? It’s been killing me all week!” he whined cutely.

You laughed, he could be such a child sometimes. “Okay… okay, you can go first.”

He reached over to somewhere off camera and pulled the little wooden box you’d given him into his lap, grinning. “It’s awfully light…” he remarked before slowly opening the hinged lid.

You couldn’t see inside the box from this angle, but you knew what he was looking at. You’d spent quite a bit of time while he’d been gone during January and February making this for him. In the box lay 100 paper hearts that you had painstakingly cut, one by one, from a variety of colored paper. On each one, you had written something that you loved about Seung Hyun.

Some of them were fairly innocent, like: You’re a great Uncle to Yeon Jun. You know how I like my coffee.

Others were a little more intimate, such as: I love your strong hands. Your kisses are addictive.

You watched anxiously as he looked down at the contents of the box with a puzzled expression on his face. Then he began taking some paper hearts out of the box and read them silently to himself.

Not able to take the silence any longer, you said in a hushed voice, “I know it’s not much…”

“It’s perfect.” he whispered & you realized that he’d been mutely crying the entire time he was reading the 10 or so hearts he had taken out.

“Oh, Seung Hyun-ah… it wasn’t supposed to make you cry! I wanted to make you happy!” you said worriedly.

He looked up at the camera then and you could see the tear tracks down his cheeks. He swiped at them hurriedly with the backs of his hands. “I am happy, _________ -ah. Tears of happiness, I promise! Thank you… that’s one of most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me.” he sniffled as he slipped the ones he had read back into the box. “I’ll save the rest for later, when I need cheering up.”

“Okay…” you said, still a little unsure.

“Your turn!” he said with a smile that did more to reassure you than his words had.

You leaned over to the coffee table and retrieved the box that had been sitting there all evening.

“Gee, I hope this isn’t earrings…” you sighed dramatically. “My boyfriend already gave me the perfect pair at Christmas.”

Seung Hyun laughed at that. “Did he really? Hmmmm… well, I can promise that it’s not earrings.”

You opened it then, revealing an eerily similar blue velvet box within, although this one was shaped a little differently. Taking a deep breath you popped it open… and almost dropped it when you saw what was inside.

Seung Hyun was right, it wasn’t earrings. Instead, you were looking at a beautiful crown shaped ring, set with lots of little clear stones that you really hoped weren’t diamonds. You pulled it from the box and held it up to the light, making it sparkle.

“Surprise!” he said. “I got us couple rings!” He held up his right hand to the camera and you saw that he was wearing a similar ring. His was clearly more masculine though, accented with black enamel around it and no gemstones.  


“Couple rings?” you asked.

“Aish… sorry, sometimes I forget that you don’t know everything about Korean culture.” he chided himself. “It’s a traditional 100 day gift. It symbolizes our commitment to each other and celebrates the fact that we’ve made it this far.” he smiled as he explained. “Try it on for me. Please?”

Your hand was shaking slightly as you carefully slipped the ring on various fingers. The only one it fit comfortably was the ring finger of your right hand. Smiling, you held it up to the camera to show it to him.

“Same finger as yours.” you told him.

“Then it’s fate.” he said as he winked at you.

“Seung Hyun-ah?” you asked tentatively as you admired the way the ring looked on your finger. “Please tell me these aren’t real diamonds.”

He just chuckled darkly. “Well, I could tell you that, _________-ah… but it would be a lie.” Then he really began laughing as he watched your reaction to that bit of information.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Two and a half weeks later, almost at the end of April, you’d gotten an unexpected phone call from Seungri.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Noona!” he greeted you warmly. “I didn’t call at a bad time did I? Can you talk?”

“No, I’ve got time. Yeon Jun is napping right now. What do you need, goofball?” you asked, using your affectionate name for him.

“Um…” he hesitated. “Have you… have you talked to Seung Hyun lately?”

“Not since last week.” you said. “And my last text from him was last night. Why? Is something wrong?”

“Not exactly… It’s just, the guys and I are a little worried about him. He seems kinda lonely. You know?” he said softly.

“Seems? Aren’t all of you together?” you asked him.

“No, we had to take seperate…er… business trips. He’s been by himself before, but I think this time it’s affecting him more because he’s away from you without us for moral support.” he explained.

You thought for a moment about what he said before replying. “The only thing I can think of that’s different than when he’s usually gone is the lack of selcas. He hasn’t sent me one for weeks, which is odd.”

“We’ve seen some.” he told you. “He doesn’t look too good, ________-ah. He’s too tired looking and I’m pretty sure he’s lost some weight as well.”

That little bit of information made your stomach twist with worry. Seung Hyun was already trim & could hardly afford to lose weight without making himself ill.

“I hate to ask you this.” he continued. “But, if we take care of it, would you be willing to fly out to him for the weekend? Just being with you for a bit might be enough to make him feel better. It would be a nice surprise, I’m sure.”

You didn’t even have to think about it. “Absolutely. I’ll talk to Hye Yoon and see if I can’t get Monday off as well. Where is he?”

Seungri laughed. “That’s my girl… never backing down from a challenge! Um… by any chance, do you speak German?”

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Seungri had shown up early Saturday morning to ride with you to the airport. On the way, he had told you all the information you would need when you reached Germany. Once you’d arrived at Incheon, he gave you a quick hug before you got out of the car.

“Thank you for taking care of our hyung for us, noona.” he said, being serious for once. “He always does so much for us and I hate to think of him hurting.”

Roughly eleven hours later, your plane was finally touching down. Because of the time zone change it was only technically 4 hours after you’d left Korea; which meant that it was currently 7 in the morning.

After collecting your small suitcase, you’d met the driver that you knew would be waiting & he drove you to the correct hotel. You met your “contact”, as Seungri had referred to him, when you got to there and he had let you into Seung Hyun’s room.

“He’s out to breakfast right now.” the man told you after he’d unlocked the door. “We’ll try and get him to come back here as soon as we can, but I don’t know exactly when that will be.”

You’d just nodded, “Thanks.” you told him & then he was gone, leaving you standing alone in a really nice hotel suite.

After waiting around anxiously for half an hour, you’d gotten restless & opened up your suitcase for the book that you’d stashed in there… only to find something that you most definitely had not packed. Pulling the item out of your case, you’d just smirked to yourself as you shook your head. Sneaky little, panda! you thought. This is what I get for letting him put my luggage in the trunk for me. Looking bemusedly at what he had slipped into your luggage, you quickly got a wicked, naughty idea & hurried to follow through with it before you could change your mind.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Seung Hyun walked angrily down the hallway towards his hotel room. He had been having a nice, quiet breakfast when he’d been interrupted by a phone call from one of the production assistants in the movie he was currently filming. The man had informed him that he’d had a delivery at the hotel that required his immediate attention.

To make matters worse, it had begun raining as Seung Hyun was walking the short distance back to the hotel. So now not only was he mad, he was soaking wet. When he finally reached his room, he grumpily unlocked the door and wrenched it open. Time to see what this delivery is that’s so damn important. he thought to himself.

It took him going only a few steps into the room before he noticed something was different. The light in the bedroom was on, even though he knew for a fact he had turned it off before he left. Taking a few cautious steps in that direction, he quietly called out. “Hello? Is anyone there?”

When he pushed the bedroom door the rest of the way open, you launched yourself at him from where you’d been hiding, throwing your arms around his waist.

“Finally! I was getting so bored.” you said and then you leaned up to place a quick kiss on his lips. “Surprise!” you told him with a smile.

“Wha…” he was speechless. So you kissed him again, this time a little longer.

Eventually Seung Hyun’s brain managed to catch up with what was going on. He grabbed you by the shoulders and deepened the kiss, turning it into one of passion. When he finally pulled away, you were both breathing heavily.

“Not that I mind you being here…” he said. “But, how did you know where to find me?”

You shrugged. “The guys were worried about you & sent me to make you feel better.” you said. Then you noticed that he was dripping water onto your bare feet. “Ick… Seung Hyun-ah. Why are you all wet?”

He chuckled. “It’s raining outside, gongju-nim.”

You turned and looked out the window. “Hmmm… so it is.” then you went back to kissing him as you started to unbutton his shirt.

You felt his body stiffen as he realized what you were doing & pouted when he broke away from the kiss.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked as he tried to gather his shirt closed again.

“Well, I can’t leave you in these wet clothes. You might catch a cold & I promised them that I’d look after you.” you said with a sly wink & you smacked his hands away, going back to work on the buttons.

**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************

You heard him inhale sharply as he finally noticed that you were standing there in nothing but one of his white button downs, the front of which was so wet now that it was slowly becoming transparent. He swallowed thickly and leaned his head back with a groan as you pushed his wet shirt onto the floor. Your hands slid slowly across his shoulders, then down his arms and came back up to rest on his chest… fingers lightly tracing the outline of his collarbones before you leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to his sternum.

Seung Hyun growled and, grabbing your shoulders, flipped your positions so that he had driven you back against the wall. Needing to feel you against him, he found that your warm and supple body perfectly complimented his larger & more muscled frame. He leaned down and began to devour your mouth as he wedged one of his thighs between yours. The need to touch, to be touched, to take and give nearly overwhelmed him, but he kept his hands firmly clasped to your shoulders.

Your body seemed to melt against his. It had been so long since you had been touched… had wanted to be touched. It felt as if you couldn’t get close enough to him and you strained against his body. The muscles of his broad chest felt solid beneath your palms as you were driven up against the wall and all of him pressed hard against you. Hunger surged inside you. A clear demand. More.

You tore your mouth away from his long enough to whisper. “Seung Hyun-ah… touch me… please?”

Thunder rumbled outside and his blood pounded in his veins nearly as hard as the rain hitting the glass of the window. As if your words somehow gave him permission, Seung Hyun suddenly needed to feel your warm skin beneath his hands. Tugging at the shirt you were wearing, he drew it up just enough to slide his hands beneath it. He closed his hands around your waist, your skin soft and silky to the touch, and sought out the arch of your ribs with his thumbs.

The touch of his hands so warm on your bare skin sent a burst of heat straight to your core and you felt yourself rock against his thigh in an attempt to gain some friction.

“__________ -ah.” Seung Hyun panted your name against your lips. “This isn’t exactly how I thought our first time would happen… but if you don’t want to go any further, you’ve got to stop me now.”

In response you just slid your hands up into his lush black hair and pulled his mouth down against yours. When your lips were once again connected, you noticed that something had changed. Now there was a fire there, a heat that poured into you and seared its way through both of your bodies… setting them alight.

Seung Hyun pulled away and his lips began feverishly tracing a path across your jawline. You tilted your head to give him better access as he nibbled and sucked along the column of your throat. You bit down on your bottom lip in an attempt to stifle the moan that his actions elicited, but he heard you anyway.

You felt him smile. “Don’t hold back, gongju-nim… let me hear you.” he whispered against your heated skin.

When his hands started slowly sliding up your body towards your chest, you maneuvered your hands down to his waist and began to wrestle with the buckle of his belt.

The clink of the metal buckle broke through the haze of his lust and Seung Hyun’s hands quickly moved down to cover yours.

“Stop, __________ -ah.” he said firmly as he gulped in breaths of air in attempt to calm down so he could think straight. “We have to stop.”

“What?!?” you exclaimed, your brain still foggy with desire. “Why?”

Seung Hyun let out a long ragged breath. “Because… I just realized that I don’t have any protection.”

“Oh… is that all?” you smirked and went back to attempting to unbuckle his belt.

His hands clamped down on yours again, halting your efforts. “What do you mean is that all?” he bit out. “That’s pretty damn important, ________ -ah!”

You sighed, pulled your hands out from under his and pointed to where your suitcase lay on the corner of the bed. “Look in my luggage.” you told him impatiently.

He shot you a questioning look but did as you instructed. And even though you were upset at the moment having been ruined, you couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on Seung Hyun’s face as he pulled the string of condom packets from your suitcase.

“You… you packed condoms?” he asked, his voice both incredulous and amused at the same time.

“I didn’t.” you said, stressing the I.

“Then who did?” he asked with an arch of his eyebrow.

“I was stupid enough to leave Seungri alone with my luggage. I’m guessing he put them there. But, for the record, I’m also taking the pill.” you said.

Seung Hyun got a wicked gleam in his eyes as he tore one shiny gold packet from the string, throwing the rest of them on the bed.

“I never thought I would ever, ever say something like this, especially in this situation…” he said with a smile. “But, god bless that little maknae!”

Seung Hyun laughed and picked you up, carrying you over to the bed and playfully throwing you down on it before pouncing on top of you to pick up where the two of you had left off.


	2. Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst with a touch of fluff
> 
> Author’s Note: The angst starts here, folks. But there’s still a bit of fluffy sunshine in there… for now. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

Finally the middle of May rolled around and Seung Hyun was on his way home from Germany. It was early on Friday evening and you were in the kitchen preparing to cook dinner. You weren’t exactly sure when he would be home, but you wanted to have a meal ready and waiting, just in case.

You were about halfway through prepping your ingredients when you heard the front door open. Smiling to yourself, you rushed over to the sink so you could wash your hands before going out to welcome your boyfriend home. It still gave you a slightly giddy feeling to think of him in that way… your boyfriend.

That was when you heard it… a loud thud from the living room. You rushed from the kitchen, still wiping your hands on a dishtowel, only to find Seung Hyun in a heap on the floor.

“Seung Hyun-ah!” you screamed as you rushed over to him. You rolled him over onto his back and gently patted his face. “Seung Hyun-ah…” you said worriedly.

“__________-ah…” he said weakly. “I don’t… I don’t feel so good.”

You quickly felt his forehead to see if he was feverish & although he felt slightly warm, it didn’t seem like anything that would make him pass out.

“So tired…” he whispered. “I’m so tired.”

Then it hit you what you were dealing with… he was completely and utterly exhausted. You felt his neck for a pulse and it seemed strong enough.

“Do you think you can stand up if I help you?” you asked.

He nodded, but when you tried to help him up, he was a solid dead weight and you stumbled as you struggled to support him.

“Okay…” you said as you laid him back down on the floor. “This isn’t going to work. One of us is just going to end up getting hurt.”

You walked over to the sofa and grabbed a pillow, placing it under Seung Hyun’s head before pulling out your phone & calling Seungri.

“Hello, noona!” he said cheerily.

“I have a situation here.” you said quickly.

“What kind of situation?” he asked. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” you explained. “It’s Seung Hyun I’m worried about. He just got home from Germany…”

“That’s great!” Seungri interrupted.

“Yes… except for the fact that he just collapsed in the living room floor from what I’m guessing is exhaustion!” you snapped.

“What? Is he alright? Did he hurt himself?” he questioned you rapidly.

“I think he’s okay. He’s not feverish and his pulse is still strong. I just can’t get him out of the floor. Can you come help me get him up to the bedroom so he can get some rest?” you asked.

“I’m on my way.” he said hurriedly. “I’ll call Young Bae though. He lives closer and can get there the fastest. Hang in there, ________-ah.” and then he hung up.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Around 20 minutes later, the front door was flung open and Young Bae ran breathlessly into the living room.

“Sorry…” he panted. “I just ran… all the way here… He okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.” you said. “Want a bottle of water or something?” you asked. He just nodded in the affirmative while walking over to where Seung Hyun was on the floor.

You went to the kitchen and quickly grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. By the time you got back to the living room, Young Bae already had Seung Hyun in a fireman’s carry & was headed for the stairs. Wordlessly, you followed him upstairs and opened the door to Seung Hyun’s bedroom so he could carry him in. You cautiously followed behind and watched as Young Bae set his hyung on the bed as gently as he could manage.

About the time you handed him the water bottle, Seungri ran into the room walking quickly over to the bed and assessing the situation.

“I’ve already called Ji Yong.” he said to Young Bae before turning to you and gently ushering you from the room. “How about you go downstairs and make some soup for when he wakes up. We’ll get him into some pajamas and get him comfortable in bed. Okay, ________ -ah?”

Seungri had shut the bedroom door in your face before you could even make the argument that you’d already seen Seung Hyun naked & there was no point in being modest now. But you still did as he suggested and went down to the kitchen. It took a few minutes to rearrange your dinner plans and ingredients, but you soon had a large pot of chicken soup simmering on the stove.

Then the shit had hit the proverbial fan when the door to the villa flew open yet again. Even from the kitchen, you could hear Ji Yong arguing with two other men whose voices you didn’t recognize.

“I’m telling you, he wouldn’t want to go to the hospital!” you heard Ji Yong say heatedly as you walked out of the kitchen to see who else was there.

“I don’t care what he wants!” one man said. “I’ll have the doctor here look him over and if he says Seung Hyun needs to go, then he goes!”

That was when Ji Yong noticed you. “__________ -ah.” he nodded to you gravely. “Are they upstairs?”

You simply nodded back at him, too scared to actually speak. In the past hour, your perfect little world felt as if it had been invaded and was crumbling all around you. The guys you could handle being here, but you weren’t sure what to do about complete strangers.

Ji Yong and the man who you assumed was the doctor walked briskly down the hallway to the stairs, leaving you alone with the third man… and you didn’t like the look of him at all.

“Can I…?” you said a little weakly before clearing your throat and starting over. “Can I get you something to drink?” You asked, strictly from politeness… not from an actual desire to befriend him. You knew that Seung Hyun would want you to be polite to anyone who was a guest in his home.

“So you’re the Nanny.” the man said in a surprisingly high pitched, quiet voice, completely ignoring your question.

“Yes.” you said, somewhat curtly. “I’m also the girlfriend.”

“Oh, that’s right…” he said as he walked into the living room, looking around the space as if he’d never seen it before. “You aren’t what I expected.”

You followed hesitantly even though he completely ignored your presence. For some odd reason, you had no desire to leave him alone within the villa. Your felt your skin crawl when you watched him sit down in your favorite chair & you tried your best to maintain your composure as you sat down on the other end of the sofa as far away from him as you could possibly get. There was a heavy moment of silence as he leaned back in the black, leather chair. He crossed his legs and steepled his fingertips together in a show of dominance before he spoke again.

“He had to scrape the bottom of the barrel for you, didn’t he?” the man said, his voice suddenly dripping with malice. “Had to go through the process of hiring a foreign Nanny so that he could condition you to love him.”

You were so shocked by the contrast of the bitter words and the soft voice that you just sat there, speechless.

“Tell me… has he explained everything to you yet? Do you even know that his last girlfriend left him 10 years ago when he chose his career over her? Or has he not trusted you enough to tell you what he does for a living?” he spat.

You felt your heartbeat pick up, so much so that it was beginning to make you lightheaded. The sound of your blood pumping rapidly through your veins made a swishing sound in your ears. You felt… violated. And worst of all, you felt like he had just violated your relationship as well. Seung Hyun should be the one to tell you about these things & you were sure that he would… when he was ready. But now this self righteous ass had gone and ruined that. Of course, you had no way of knowing if what he had said was even true.

Before you could force your brain to formulate a response, the front door opened again.

“Hello?” you heard Daesung’s angelic voice call out. “Anyone here?”

Never in your life had you ever been so glad to be interrupted. “Excuse me, please.” you told the evil man before making a hasty exit.

Once you got to the entryway & saw Daesung slipping out of his shoes, you felt all of the emotions that you’d been trying to keep in check come swelling to the surface. Now that you were away from the rude man sitting in your living room, your brain apparently decided that it was okay to just let go.

“________ -ah?” Daesung asked you, sounding very concerned. “It’s not that bad is it? Did they take him to the hospital this time?”

You shook your head at the question & tears began to run down your cheeks as your body shook with silent sobs. You were so upset that your brain failed to process that he’d said ‘this time’, implying that this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.

“Poor thing. Did they kick you out of his room & leave you all alone?” he asked as he stepped forward, enveloping you in a warm hug.

“Not all alone.” you stiffened in Daesung’s arms as you heard the voice from behind you.

“Oh…” Daesung said quietly as all the color drained from his face. “Good evening, President Yang.”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Upstairs, the doctor was just finishing his examination.

“I think it will be alright to leave him here for now.” he said as he put away some things in the bag that he had brought with him. “I’ll just administer some Ringer’s solution. After he rests, he can come into the office for a follow up.”

The group of three men that had been standing and watching anxiously let out a collective breath of relief.

“Thank you.” Ji Yong told him.

Seungri sighed. “One of us needs to go tell _________ -ah what’s going on.” he said as he headed for the bedroom door.

“Shit!” Ji Yong exclaimed, pushing him out of the way and opening the door himself.

“Hyung! What is wrong with you?” Seungri asked him, slightly upset from the sudden rough treatment.

Ji Yong just turned to him with a blank expression on his face. “I left her alone with Yang.” he bit out as he headed for the stairs and started to bound down them, two at a time.

“Shit!” Seungri echoed as he quickly followed on his heels.

Ji Yong ran all the way into the living room, skidding to a halt as his socked feet slid a little on the hardwood floor. Seungri was so close behind him that he had to do some clever evasive maneuvers himself just to keep from crashing into the older man.

“Relax, boys.” Yang said as he stood up from the De Sede chair. “She’s in the kitchen with Daesung.”

For the second time that night, both of them exhaled loudly in relief, with Seungri immediately turning and heading for the kitchen.

“So, what did the doctor say?” Yang asked Ji Yong as he started to walk towards the entryway.

“He can stay here.” Ji Yong informed him as he followed. “He’s getting some Ringer’s solution & will have to go in for a check up once he’s rested.”

“Good.” Yang said as he slid his shoes on. “You don’t have any appearances or events scheduled for a while. That should give him enough time. Pity, the free press of a hospitalization might have been nice…” he said wistfully as he opened the front door, letting himself out without another word.

Ji Yong stared at the door in shock for a few moments before shaking his head and turning to walk towards the kitchen. When he got there, he found you and Daesung seated at the table drinking coffee, with Seungri leaning against the counter informing you of everything that had happened upstairs.

“So, he’s not awake?” you asked the maknae.

“No.” he told you, sadly.

“Speaking from experience, I’d say you’ve got at least 12 hours before he even thinks about waking up.” Ji Yong said quietly from the doorway. You watched as the others agreed, nodding their heads solemnly.

“12 hours…” you whispered. “Well, I guess I should put away the soup I was told to make then.” you said with a huff of exasperation as you stood.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Around an hour later, you had just managed to convince the guys that you would be okay by yourself. After thanking all of them profusely and promising that you would either call or text each of them tomorrow, you finally shut the door behind them as they left.

You leaned on the door, letting out a heavy breath as you turned the lock. Walking through the villa and turning out all the lights, you couldn’t help your mind racing through the events of the evening. From everything that vile man had told you, to the startling realization that Seung Hyun (and the others) had dealt with extreme exhaustion before, you were in shock at how this evening had turned your life upside down.

You dragged your tired body upstairs and to your room, changed into pajamas, grabbed a book and headed across the hall to Seung Hyun’s room. You found him laying tucked into the middle of the bed, completely and thoroughly conked out.

Sighing to yourself you walked over to a large wingback chair that was wedged into one corner and dragged it across the carpet over to beside the bed. You curled up in the chair & spent a moment admiring how peaceful Seung Hyun looked as he slept. Despite the events that had led to it, you were glad that he was finally getting some much deserved rest.

Sighing again, you cracked the book open and began to read “Horton Hatches the Egg” aloud. You even read it in English as you had earlier that same day with Yeon Jun.

Somewhere around 3 in the morning, Seung Hyun awoke with a start. It took him a moment to orient himself & realize that he was tucked tightly into his own bed. He sat up slowly, his eyes adjusting to the dim light in the room as one lamp in the far corner had been left on. Then he noticed that the chair that was normally beside that lamp was missing. Turning his head to the other side of the bed, he soon found the missing chair, as he saw you nestled in it & sleeping soundly.

“__________-ah.” he called your name softly, but you didn’t stir. “Gongju-nim.” he tried a little louder.

You groggily sat up as soon as your brain registered that Seung Hyun’s voice wasn’t just the one within your dream, it was real.

“Seung Hyun-ah!” you exclaimed as you sleepily climbed from the chair, placing the book on the bed and sitting down next to him. “They said you wouldn’t wake up for at least 12 hours.”

“They?” he asked.

You took a deep breath and spent the next few minutes explaining everything that had happened, carefully choosing to leave out any mention of your conversation with the man Daesung had referred to as 'President Yang’.

“When I came back upstairs, I even found Young Bae sitting on the edge of your bed, holding your hand and praying. They care about you so much and I’m not sure that I could have made it through tonight without all of them.” you told him with a timid smile. “You scared me to death, naui wangja.” you said softly as you reached out a hand to gently stroke his cheek.

You watched as his eyebrows climbed up at your chosen pet name. He said nothing, only scooted over in the bed and held the covers up, motioning for you to crawl under them. Once you were settled in the bed, his arm around your shoulders holding you tightly as you laid your head on his chest, he finally spoke.

“My prince…?” he questioned you softly.

“You don’t like it?” you asked back.

“No, I do.” he smiled. “It’s… different.”

There was a long silence where you felt yourself finally start to fully relax after all the stress of the evening. You felt Seung Hyun take a deep breath before he spoke again, his chest rumbling against your cheek.

“We need to talk about my job.” he said bluntly. “I should explain…”

“Not tonight.” you interrupted.

“But, _________ -ah.” he gently said. “You really should know…”

“I know.” you told him, not daring to move. “And I will… just not tonight. Right now I am so angry about whatever it is that did this to you that I would judge anything you told me unfairly. You could tell me that you actually are a prince and I would hate the kingdom and everything in it for putting you through so much stress.” you tried to explain.

Seung Hyun sighed. “Very well.” leaning down, he placed a gentle kiss on top of your head. “But soon.”

“Soon.” you agreed as you cuddled yourself even closer into his side.

“Sleep well.” he said as his arms tightened around you.

Seung Hyun laid there, savoring the feeling of having you in his arms. Once he was sure you were asleep, he mumbled to himself. “Now how do I tell her that I’m not a prince… but I’m a king?”


	3. Fight and Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst with a tiny bit of fluff at the end because I just couldn’t help myself.
> 
> Author’s Note: So… enlistment. You guys didn’t think I’d forget about that did you? (Note that this was written well before his actual enlistment, so it will NOT be the same as in real life.)
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

Months rolled by in a blur and the promised conversation never happened. It wasn’t that Seung Hyun didn’t want to tell you about what he did for a living. He did… he was just scared about what would happen when you finally knew. Past relationships had left him with a serious case of anxiety about being left alone, or worse, being forced to choose between his music and those that he loved. And, while he knew he had made the right decision in placing his career first the last time it happened, he wasn’t so sure that he could make that same choice again. (Not that he thought you would be so callous as to try and force him to do such a thing in the first place.)

The truth of the matter was that Seung Hyun liked things just as they were, even though he knew that they were destined to change soon… and not in a good way. Tiredly he rubbed at his eyes, wishing that the pieces of paper laying in front of him on the desk would just go away. But as he opened his eyes and looked down, his official enlistment papers stared back at him.

Sighing heavily, he took another sip of the beer that sat on his desk. He knew he really shouldn’t drink in the middle of the day, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He had so much to do and so little time to do it in… and one of those things, the big one, was to tell you that he had to go into the Army for 21 months.

For once in his life, he wished that he hadn’t waited until the last possible moment to complete his compulsory service. He had pushed it to the side in order to further both his music and acting careers, which really had been the best option available to him at the time. But now things were different… now you had walked into his life and turned the whole thing upside down. And he couldn’t help but think that if he’d finished his service earlier, then he wouldn’t be forced to leave you now.

Today. Seung Hyun thought to himself, sadly. I only have a month left… it has to be today.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After a long day of nannying, you’d made dinner for both you and Seung Hyun. He’d been uncharacteristically quiet during the meal, but you didn’t want to push him about it since you knew that he’d been working especially hard lately.

After cleaning up, you both went to the living room and sat down on of the sofa as usual. Just as you reached over to the coffee table to pick up your book though, Seung Hyun placed his hand on yours to stop you.

“___________ -ah.” he said. “I have to tell you something.”

Chills ran down your spine at the seriousness of his voice and you pulled your hand from the book. Turning sideways, you brought your legs up and sat cross legged on the sofa facing him, giving him your full attention.

“Okay.” you said softly, not really knowing what else to say.

Seung Hyun turned sideways, his position now mimicking yours as he reached out and took both of your hands in his.

“You know how I’ve been able to be at home a lot more these past few months?” he asked.

You simply nodded, afraid to interrupt him.

“Well, that’s about to change. I, uh…. I have to go away again.” he told you sadly.

You let out a breath that you didn’t even know you’d been holding. “Oh, is that all?” you said, relieved. “How long will you be gone this time? 3 months again?” you asked with a smile.

“It’s a bit longer than that…” he said, stalling the inevitable.

“How long then?” You asked, still smiling.

He took a deep breath before replying. “21 months.” he said rapidly.

You felt your smile falter. “Say that again? I’m sure that I didn’t hear you properly.”

“21 months.” Seung Hyun repeated, slower this time.

“W-w-what…” you sputtered. “Why?!?”

He sighed. “What do you know about conscription?” he asked carefully and watched your eyes widen at his use of the word.

“You mean to tell me, that you haven’t finished your mandatory military enlistment?” you asked incredulously.

His head dropped down at the tone of your voice, eyes now glued on your entwined hands. He was afraid to look at you, so he just shook his head in answer to your question.

Making your best attempt to blink back the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes, you tried to remind yourself that it wasn’t his fault that he had to go away. All able bodied Korean men were expected to serve their country and you knew that. You had just assumed, because of his age, he’d already completed his enlistment. And while he was at fault for putting it off, you were also at fault for your false assumption.

You felt guilty for snapping at him and reached out to tilt his head back up so you could see his face. “When do you leave?” you asked him, your voice barely a whisper.

“Four weeks.” he told you, just as quietly.

It took a moment for what he had just said to fully sink in, but once it did you felt a wave of sadness and hurt wash over you. He had known this was coming… likely, he’d known for months. Yet he was only telling you about it now? When he only had four weeks left? You couldn’t force your brain to think straight, emotions racing though you faster than you could process them. You scrambled away from him then, making it up off the sofa just as quickly as you could manage.

“I…” you tried and failed to make a complete sentence as you slowly backed away from him.

“___________-ah?” Seung Hyun asked you as he stood up as well.

“I… I have to get out of here.” was all you could make yourself say as you ran for the front door.

“_____________-ah!” he yelled as he chased after you. “Don’t leave!”

You turned to see the frightened look on his face and the tears in his eyes.

“Don’t leave me…” he pleaded.

“I am not leaving you.” you told him firmly as you slid your feet into your shoes. “But I am leaving. I just… I need a little time, Seung Hyun-ah. I need some space to think, to process everything that’s going to happen. I promise that I’ll be back.” and before he could say anything else, you were out the door.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You felt like you were wandering around aimlessly, mind still racing, when you suddenly realized that you were standing outside your favorite ice cream shop. In the year and a half that you’d been living in Seoul you’d been here quite often, especially while Seung Hyun was gone & you found yourself feeling lonely. You’d quickly become friends with the owner, your seat-mate from the plane ride that felt like it had happened a lifetime ago.

You pushed open the door with a sigh, even though it was close to closing time, perhaps she would have some time to talk. Maybe that’s what you needed, someone to talk to and be your voice of reason since your brain was refusing to cooperate with you.

“_________-ah!” she said affectionately as soon as she had seen you. “Come in, child!”

You shuffled your way over to a table and plopped down into a chair, suddenly feeling exhausted, both physically and mentally.

“Oh, dear girl…” she said in a concerned voice as she came out from behind the counter and walked towards you. “What’s wrong?” Not getting any answer, she continued. “Man problems?”

You just nodded.

“Right then.” She told you, crossing over to the door and locking it, she flipped the sign in the window to the closed position.

A few minutes later she was sitting across the table from you & you both had a bowl of ice cream and a cup of coffee sitting in front of you. And by the time you finished explaining everything to her, both the coffee and the ice cream were gone.

“I don’t understand why he didn’t tell me sooner. I could’ve had more time…” you whined.

“More time to what?” she interrupted you sternly. “If he had told you sooner, don’t you think that would have done nothing except taint the past months by hanging over your head like the sword of Damocles?” she asked.

“I guess you’re right.” you sighed. “It wouldn’t have changed anything… he’d still have to go.”

She reached over and patted your hand. “Maybe he thought he was doing the right thing by not telling you until now, sometimes it’s hard to tell with men.” she said as she smiled.

“How am I going to get through this, Halmeoni?” you asked, your voice breaking with emotion. She’d insisted that you begin using the term ‘grandmother’ to refer to her about 6 months ago.

“The same way we all do, dear… one day at a time. I had to go through it with my husband.” she said wistfully. “And… it’s a trial by fire, I can tell you that much. But if you make it out the other side, you will both be stronger than you’ve ever been before. Unbreakable.”

You nodded, trying not to break down crying… again.

“You only have one question left to ask yourself, child.” she said as she stood up and began to collect the dishes from the table.

“What’s that?” you sniffled.

“Do you love him?” she asked, then held up her hand. “Don’t tell me… just ask that of yourself. And be honest with your answer, because that’s the only way you’re going to make it through the next 21 months.” she sighed deeply. “I’ll go get your man some ice cream.” she said as she shuffled off.

Did you love Seung Hyun? It was such a simple question. And your knee-jerk reaction was to say 'Of course I love him!’. But you decided that maybe you should look at it a little deeper & thinking it through from the beginning seemed like the best thing to do.

You hadn’t come to Korea looking for a relationship. At first, it had been entirely about the job. Strictly speaking, relationships with employers were completely off limits. It was in the contract because, in most situations, Nannys worked for a married couple and things would go horribly wrong if one of them were romantically involved with 'the help’. If Mr. Wilson ever found out about your relationship with Seung Hyun, you’d be immediately terminated & you knew it. You’d known it from the start and yet, you’d agreed to that first date.

Your feelings for Seung Hyun had developed slowly, over time, until there was no denying how being with him affected you. You had been so thrilled to find out that he felt the same way that you’d thrown caution to the wind & never looked back. And, you had to say, you were so glad you’d made that decision. He made you laugh, made you smile, and made you feel whole. Being with Seung Hyun was so effortless it was like loving your best friend.

There was that word again… love. Somewhere along the line, your brain had apparently equated him with the feeling & you found that you didn’t mind it one bit. Yes… you loved Seung Hyun. Your life felt complete with him as a part of it and you couldn’t imagine a future without him. If that wasn’t love… you weren’t sure what was.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You graciously accepted the takeout container of ice cream from your 'halmeoni’, thanking her for her time and patience before hurrying out of the shop and towards home. When you reached the villa you were a bit concerned to find all the lights were off. Had he gone to bed? Or worse, had he left?

You searched the first floor and found nothing. Cautiously, you climbed the stairs & let out a soft breath of relief when you saw dim light seeping out from beneath the door of his office. You knocked on the door lightly, but got no answer. For the first time, you went ahead and opened the door without him telling you it was okay, only to find him leaned back in his chair completely passed out.

You walked into the room and behind the desk to reach over and shake him awake lightly.

“Seung Hyun-ah…” you sang softly. “Come on… wake up, naui wangja. I brought you ice cream.”

“Ice cream?” he said with a sleepy snort as he sat up, apparently not quite as out of it as you had thought he had been.

You laughed as you held it out to him. “Yes… Halmeoni wanted me to bring it to you.”

“Is that where you went?” he asked with a yawn as he took the container from you.

“Not on purpose… But, yes, that’s where I ended up.” you told him as you sat on the edge of the desk.

Seung Hyun let out a heavy sigh. “Bringing me ice cream doesn’t fix this, _________-ah.” he said sadly. “You still walked out on me.”

“Will you at least let me explain while you eat it?” you asked. “It would be a shame to let it go to waste.”

“Okay, fine…” he pouted as he took the lid off and dug in with the plastic spoon.

You just sat there for a moment as he began to eat his ice cream, letting the silence stretch between you as you struggled to find the right words to explain.

“It’s true that I left.” you said quietly. “But I didn’t leave you, Seung Hyun-ah. I will never leave you. I need you to understand that. I merely left the situation. Not you. Never you.”

He swallowed his ice cream & waved his spoon at you as if to say, 'Go on, I’m listening.’

“I just needed time and some distance to process what you told me. Not the fact that you still have to do your military service… but that I’m going to lose you in 4 short weeks. I couldn’t understand why you didn’t tell me sooner, and I felt hurt and confused that you didn’t.” you told him.

“I was trying to not hurt you…” he tried to say around another mouthful of ice cream.

“I know that now.” you said. “But when you’d just told me, it was too much for me to process all at once. You know?”

He nodded.

“Truth is, there isn’t a way that you could have told me that would’ve hurt less. Even if you had told me months ago, I think my reaction would have been the same.” you swallowed thickly against the tears you could feel coming. “It all comes down to the fact that I’m scared, Seung Hyun-ah. I’ve forgotten what my life was like without you in it… and I’m not so sure that I want to remember. Even if it’s temporary, 21 months is a long time.”

Seung Hyun didn’t say a word, just set down his half-eaten ice cream, and came to stand in front of you. Silently he gathered you in his arms and gently pulled your head to his chest as he rested his chin on top of your head. The two of you stayed just like that for a few moments before he finally spoke.

“I’m scared too.” he admitted into the quiet of the room. “I wish I’d done things differently… that I hadn’t waited until now to complete my enlistment.”

“Don’t say that.” you told him seriously. “You can’t change the past Seung Hyun-ah. And, who knows? Even if you could… if you changed that one thing, we might never have met.”

“That…” he said as leaned back from you a bit. “… would have been tragic.” he reached out and tipped your face up to meet his, leaning down to capture your lips in a loving kiss.

“I’m sorry.” you whispered against his lips once the kiss was over. “I’m sorry I left.”

“Shhhhh… gongju-nim. It’s okay. I understand now.” he told you as he began to kiss his way across your cheek and down towards your neck.

You giggled. “Seung Hyun-ah! What are you doing?”

He smirked at you as he leaned over and opened a desk drawer, pulling out a familiar looking gold foil packet.

“Make up sex?” he asked, batting his eyes at you cutely.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Is this how the next four weeks is going to go?” you asked him playfully.

“Yeah, pretty much…” he told you, beginning to pull your shirt up so he could slide his hands under and touch skin.

“I think I can live with that.” you smiled and bit your lip, reaching for his belt buckle when you heard him chuckle wickedly.


	4. The Last Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Is there such a thing as angsty fluff? If there is, then this is it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: At one point I actually had to stop writing this chapter because I couldn’t see the screen anymore through my tears. (and I don’t cry easily)
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.
> 
> Suggested Listening: Until Whenever - Big Bang

The past four weeks had been filled with as much love, laughter and happiness as the two of you could manage to cram into each and every day. Both of you had only been getting around 4-5 hours of sleep every night, just because you were unwilling to waste any opportunity to be together. Seung Hyun had even been upset with you because you weren’t willing to sleep in his bed every night.

In the end, you had made him see your reasoning; that it would only make things more difficult for both of you if you had gotten used it before he had to leave. You had compromised by spending every other night sleeping cuddled with him in his huge king size bed.

That was exactly what you’d done last night & you woke up feeling Seung Hyun’s warm body wrapped around you from behind, his arm tight around your waist. After a fair bit of gentle wiggling, you managed to get turned around so that you faced him.

You spent some time just looking at him, allowing yourself to take in his handsome features while they were relaxed in sleep. You reached out and gently traced a fingertip across his strong jawline, up to and over one eyebrow, down his nose & finally over the cupid’s bow of his soft lips.

That was when his eyelids slowly opened and you looked into his dangerous & beautiful eyes as you said, “Good morning, naui wangja.”

He smiled. “Morning, gongju-nim.”

You shared a quick peck of a kiss before retreating into your separate bathrooms for a shower, even though the clock on his bedside table read 2 am. Because today was the day… today he was leaving.

After your shower you raced to get dressed, not even bothering to dry your hair. You managed to get to the kitchen before he did and started up the coffee maker while you prepared to make the breakfast he had specially requested for today.

While you were cooking, you heard the kitchen door swing open. Soon after that you felt Seung Hyun’s arms slide around your waist as he rested his head on your shoulder.

“I’m going to miss this.” he sighed.

“Me or my cooking?” you asked.

“The cooking.” he teased. “Definitely the cooking.”

You smacked his arm playfully. “Can you get the coffee while I finish up?”

“Of course.” he said as he gave you a quick kiss on the cheek.

Once it was ready you had breakfast at the little table in the kitchen, with your feet touching up under the table because you just couldn’t handle not touching each other somehow. You ate in relative silence, just like any other day, with only the occasional snippets of playful conversation.

When you had just finished eating, Seung Hyun’s phone rang. It was Hye Yoon calling to set up the exact details of when they were going to pick him up to take him to Nonsan. You had agreed that you would stay behind while he went with his family to the official site to report for duty. Both of you thought that your goodbye would be better said in private.

You watched as he walked out of the kitchen, phone held to his ear & a frown marring his handsome face. With a sigh you began clearing the dishes from the table, carrying them over to the sink to wash. Today was going to be a long day…

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After finishing up in the kitchen, you found Seung Hyun sitting on the floor looking out of the huge window, watching as the rain made patterns across the lightly tinted glass. Quietly, you walked up and sat down beside him as close as you could get. He reached over and took one of your hands in his, bringing it up to his lips to kiss it lightly.

“It was raining like this on your first night back.” he said. “Do you remember?”

“I remember.” you smiled at the memory. “Although I think I prefer it at night… it’s not as gloomy that way.”

He chuckled. “But it’s appropriate… a gloomy rain for a gloomy day.”

“I suppose so.” you sighed.

He scooted over behind you and pulled you into his arms. “Remember how I asked you to stay with me that night?”

You smiled and nodded, sliding your hands over his where they were wrapped around you.

“At first, I brought you the wine just to be polite. I had poured myself some and it seemed rude not to offer you any.” he told you. “Then I realized that it actually felt nice to not be alone for once.” You felt his arms tighten around you, almost painfully. “Thank you, _________-ah. For staying…”

Wriggling out of his grasp so you could face him, you turned around and cupped his face gently as you kissed him. You couldn’t think of anything to say in response to what he’d just told you, so you tried to show him with your kiss just how much that little confession had meant to hear.

You felt him smile into the kiss as his arms once again snaked around your waist. Then he totally surprised you by tipping over backwards and taking you with him, all while still kissing you. Both of you laughed and his legs wrapped around you, effectively trapping you to him.

“Seung Hyun-ah!” you laughed as you said his name and attempted to roll over. “What are you doing?”

Surprisingly, he went along with the roll, releasing you from his leg trap and ending up on top of you.

Supporting his weight on one elbow, he reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

“And you still look beautiful laying here… even without the Christmas lights dancing in your eyes.” he said, nuzzling your nose with his.

“You’re such a hopeless romantic.” you smiled.

“I know…” he smiled back. “But you love it though.”

“That I do.” and you leaned up and kissed him again.

As you kissed, you felt the nature of the kisses change… from light and playful, into something a little darker and more needy. Suddenly you knew, without a doubt, that the two of you were going to end up making love right there on the floor.

Somehow, you just couldn’t bring yourself to care. If the past four weeks had taught you anything, it was that Seung Hyun had begun carrying protection with him at all times because you both ended up getting carried away in moments just like these.

In fact, you’d lost count of how many different places within the villa you’d managed to ‘christen’, but this time felt different. While it was still as passionate and loving as ever, there was a touch of sadness there as well. You both knew it was going to be the last time that you’d be together like this for a long while. If there was a word to describe the feeling, it was bittersweet.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Afterwards, you laid there catching your breath when Seung Hyun suddenly sat up and started to pick up all the bits and pieces of clothing you’d both shed & started flinging them on top of you playfully.

“What are you…” before you could finish the question, he picked you up off the floor & into his arms and you had to hold on to the pile of clothes to keep them from slipping off you.

“I don’t know about you…” he said with a cheeky grin. “…but I need another shower.”

Once he’d carried you up the stairs & set you down in the hallway, you spent a few moments sorting out whose clothes were whose. Again, the two of you retreated to separate bathrooms for quick showers. A very big part of you was tempted to change your mind and go in with him, but you knew he was a man who liked his privacy. Plus if that were to happen, you knew that not a lot of showering would take place… and you were running out of time.

You were sitting on your bed, dressed in fresh pajamas & towel drying your hair when a timid knock came on your door. Surprised, you got up to open it, knowing full well who would be on the other side.

Seung Hyun simply smirked at your expression. “Mind if I come in?” he asked.

You gestured him inside and went back to sitting on the bed, resuming the drying of your hair. You watched as he looked around the room, his eyes appraising. In the year and a half that you’d lived in the villa, Seung Hyun had never set foot in your room after showing you around the first night you’d arrived.

His eyes caught on a series of framed black and white photographs that were hanging on the wall above your desk. He stood there silently for a while, his hands clasped behind his back. You’d seen him do this before during your date at the art auction. You recognized it as his 'go to’ pose for standing while he admired and evaluated what he was looking at.

His head tilted to the side as he finally spoke, still not looking at you. “These are quite good. What artist took them?”

You couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across your face at his praise. “I did.” you told him, a touch of pride in your voice.

He whipped around to look at you then. “Wha… you… really?”

“Don’t look so shocked.” you teased. “Believe it or not, Seung Hyun-ah, being a Nanny was not my first choice of occupation.”

Pointing at the wall beside your bed, you directed his attention to the framed diploma that hung there. He crossed the room to get a closer look and you watched his face carefully as he read the words printed there.

“You… you have an art degree?” he asked as he sat down on the bed across from you, looking awestruck.

You nodded. “My parents didn’t exactly approve… so I put myself through college. It’s just a bachelor’s degree, but I’m still proud of it.”

He reached out, taking your hands in his, squeezing them lightly. “As you should be.” he sighed. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get more beautiful, you go and surprise me again.”

You felt your cheeks flush in embarrassment. “An art degree makes me beautiful?”

“Of course it does! Beauty is more than looks, gongju-nim.” he said with a wink. “But I still don’t understand why you’re a Nanny instead of a world famous photographer.”

You shrugged. “Being a Nanny pays better. I was having difficulty making it as a photographer and my parents offered to pay for me to go back to school, provided that I chose a 'respectable’ profession.”

He scoffed. “Both are respectable professions.”

You smiled. “My thoughts exactly. Maybe one day I can concentrate on photography again… until then, I quite enjoy being a Nanny. Especially now…”

He checked his watch and gave your hands another squeeze. “I, uh… I have to leave soon.”

“I know.” you said quietly.

“I have something I want to give you before I go.” Seung Hyun said as he slipped slowly off the bed to kneel down beside it. He reached into his pocket and pulled something small from within it, placing it in your palm and closing your hand around it before you could see what it was.

“I know that I have no right to ask you this, _________-ah.” he began, speaking seriously. “Especially since we haven’t even been a couple for a whole year yet… but I want to ask you to wait for me. It won’t be easy and I’m so very sorry from the depths of my heart to put you through such a thing. But I think the only thing that’s going to get me though this is knowing that you await me in the end.”

You smiled at him, despite the tears that were beginning to track their way down your cheeks. “Of course I will wait for you, Seung Hyun-ah. I have always waited for you to return to me… it’s just going to take a little longer this time.”

You could see the tears falling down his cheeks as well as he whispered. “Open your hand.”

You did so & looked down to see a silver locket and chain sitting in your palm. There was a shining oval moonstone set into it surrounded by what you knew were bound to be diamonds. “Oh… it’s beautiful!” you exclaimed as you turned it so you could pop it open but Seung Hyun’s hand shot out to stop you. 

“I need one more promise from you, gongju-nim.” he said. “You have to promise me that you won’t open this locket until I tell you to. Or unless….” he swallowed thickly. “…unless something happens to me.”

“Don’t say that!” you admonished him quickly.

“Promise.” was all he said.

You nodded. “I promise.”

He smiled as he took the locket from your hands. “Here, let me put it on you.” he said & stood up from the floor, moving around to sit behind you on the bed. “Lift your hair for me.”

You did so and he carefully draped the chain around your neck, fastening it and settling it into place. Then he surprised you by leaning forward and kissing the back of your neck where the clasp met your skin, sending a shiver through your whole body.

“You should take it off when you shower.” he told you. “But I’d appreciate it if you’d leave it on at all times otherwise.”

“Okay.” was all you could bring yourself to say.

Suddenly his phone buzzed from within his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the text he had received. “They’re here.” he sighed. “I have to go.”

He stood up from the bed and reached out a hand to you, pulling you up and into his arms.

“Do me a favor?” he whispered into your hair.

“Anything.” you said.

“Stay here… in your room… until I’m gone.” he said, his voice strained with emotion. “I don’t think I can walk out the front door with you watching me.”

Your tears began flowing freely as you nodded & he leaned back, tilting your head up so he could kiss you one last time. Once the kiss was over he released you, turned and walked out the door, shutting it behind him with a thud of finality.

And that was how he left you, standing in your bedroom, swaying on your feet and clutching the locket that he had just given you. After a while, you just crawled into the bed and cried yourself to sleep, still holding on to the locket for dear life.

__________________________________________________________________

_Don’t forget that promise of ours_

_I’ll take care of you until whenever_

_No matter how sad (I can only laugh)_

_Even though I’m tired and hurt (I can only endure)_

_Even if you leave (I can’t catch you)_

_Even still, with your trust we can only be forever…_

_…You know my heart, will you wait?_


	5. Boxes and Brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst with a brief interim of Panda fluff
> 
> Author’s Note: I did something a little different with this chapter. Instead of breaks in between sections/scenes, there are song lyrics (in bold). The lyrics before each part are kinda the theme for that scene. I dunno if this makes any sense to anyone except me. But, yeah… something different. :)
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.
> 
> Suggested Listening: Come Back Home (unplugged) - 2ne1

**_You left me  
But I hear your breath from somewhere_ **

It had been two weeks since Seung Hyun had walked out the door to go serve his country. During the weekdays, having Yeon Jun there helped a lot. Even so, you felt like you were just going through the motions. Every day the same thing…wake up, shower, be the Nanny; but after the boy left for the day the villa felt depressingly empty.

You couldn’t even bring yourself to make coffee in the mornings anymore. The first couple of times you tried had ended with you a sobbing mess on the kitchen floor as soon as the smell began to permeate the air.

It was amazing how Seung Hyun had become such an integral part of your life in a relatively short amount of time. Just as you had told him, you honestly had forgotten what life was like without him, but it was something that you were painfully beginning to remember day by day.

Yes, he had often been gone for weeks on end, sometimes even a month or more… but this felt completely different. This time there were no selcas or playful texts between the two of you. You had zero contact with him whatsoever and it would likely remain so for another few weeks until he was finally stationed somewhere & you managed to get an address for him.

The guys had been texting you pretty regularly though. At least one of them would send you something during the day, just checking to make sure that you were doing okay. However, it had been Seungri who had been your rock through the past two weeks. Most evenings found the two of you talking on the phone for at least an hour and he came over a couple times a week to have dinner with you. Honestly, you weren’t so sure that you would’ve been able to make it through this trying time without the maknae to make you smile.

**_Red tears fall down  
I miss your scent that embraced me_ **

It had seemed like a normal enough Friday to begin with. Seung Hyun had been gone for exactly a month now. You were keeping track by placing a black ‘X’ on your calendar each morning when you first woke up. The days were getting easier for you to handle as you slowly became accustomed to his absence.

You had just served lunch when the post had shown up. To your surprise, there had been a package with your name on it and no return address. You decided that you didn’t want to open it with Yeon Jun there and had set it to the side.

When the boy had left for the day, Seungri had called and the two of you made plans for dinner. He was going to treat you to takeout this time since you had made him a meal last week.

After you had changed out of your uniform into more casual clothes, curiosity had finally got the better of you & you decided to open the box while you waited for him to show up. You carefully carried it into the living room and sat down on the couch with it in your lap. Breaking the seal, you eagerly peeked inside.

On top there was a pair of black, mens dress shoes. You felt thoroughly confused as you picked them up and noticed that they were slightly dusty. You swallowed thickly as you saw what had been underneath them… a white mens button up shirt. Dropping the shoes on the floor, you gently pulled the shirt out of the box. When you did so, you caught a whiff of Seung Hyun’s cologne mixed with another scent that was uniquely him… something you hadn’t smelled in so long & you missed very much.

You slowly stood up and the box, along with the rest of its contents, spilled onto the floor unheeded. You clutched the shirt to your chest and inhaled deeply, tears beginning to spill from your eyes. This had been the shirt that Seung Hyun had been wearing the day he’d left, you’d bet money on it.

You weren’t really sure when you did it, but you slid your arms into the sleeves and put the shirt on. Of course it was too big, but it made Seung Hyung’s scent envelop you. You closed your eyes and laid down on the couch, folding your arms around yourself and continued to cry uncontrollably.

**_Come back home  
Can you come back home  
Don’t leave me at the end of the cold world  
But come back to my side_ **

“Noona?” Seungri called as he opened the door and kicked off his shoes. “Hello?”

His concern grew as he noticed the silence within the villa. He knew that, even though he was a little late bringing the take out, there was no way you were in bed already.

“Hey, ________-ah!” he yelled as he walked through the villa and into the living room. That was when he noticed you laying on the couch, sound asleep.

Seeing the box and it’s various items spread all over the floor, Seungri felt a sense of dread grow in the pit of his stomach. He set the bag that held the takeout on the coffee table and knelt down to inspect the mess on the floor.

“Oh no…” he whispered as his suspicions were confirmed. “What is this even doing here?” he quickly began packing the things back into the box. “This should’ve gone to his mother… Wait, where’s the shirt?”

Seungri looked up at you then, realizing that you had wrapped yourself up in Seung Hyun’s shirt. And by the looks of your puffy, tear streaked face, had ended up crying yourself to sleep as a result.

“Oh, sweet girl…” he sighed. “Come on, ________-ah… wake up.” he said as he shook you gently.

You grumbled for a few moments before waking up, completely disoriented. “What…?” you tried to say, before clearing your throat and trying again. “What are you doing here?”

“I was bringing over takeout for dinner, remember?” he asked, gesturing to the bag on the table.

“Oh… yeah…” you said groggily as you sat up, running a hand over your face. Then everything that had happened came rushing back to you in painful clarity. “Oh, god… I’m so sorry… I just… this box came… and I opened it… and this shirt was in there and it smelled like him…” you babbled in a rush, your breath coming in uneven sobs.

“Shhhhh… noona. It’s okay.” Seungri leaned forward and gave you a hug, his hands rubbing gentle circles on your back as you started to cry again. “I understand, but you’ve got to take it off now.” he said as he pulled away and tugged gently at the shirt.

“No!” you cried out and scrambled away from him. “I can’t… I… this is the only piece of him that I have left.” you whimpered pitifully as you gathered the fabric around yourself protectively.

He shook his head sadly. “That’s not true, ________-ah. Just look around you.” he gestured around the room. “Everywhere in this villa you will find pieces of Seung Hyun. But the most important piece…” he leaned forward and placed his hand over your heart. “… is in here.”

**_Can you come back home  
I’m pushing back all the pain  
I’m still waiting for you like this_ **

After a few more minutes of gentle coaxing, Seungri had managed to get you to take the shirt off and give it to him.

“You’re doing the right thing. Trust me.” he told you as he folded the shirt and placed it in the box. “It’s kind of tradition that the mother gets this box and Seung Hyun’s mom would’ve been really upset if she didn’t.” He folded the flaps shut and shoved the box up under the coffee table.

“Come on.” he held his hand out to you & helped you up off the couch. “How about you go upstairs and take a shower? You look like a zombie, ________-ah.” he said with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

“Gee, thanks!” you told him, shoving him halfheartedly. “I guess you’re right, though. A shower sounds nice right about now.” You reached back and unclasped your locket from around your neck, handing it to him. “Look after this for me until I get done, will you? Seung Hyun gave it to me before he left, so guard it with your life.” you told him as you walked towards the hallway. “And don’t open it!” you called over your shoulder.

**_I’m trapped in a time without you  
I can’t see ahead, I’m so scared_ **

Once he knew you had made it upstairs, Seungri had called Daesung. He needed to get this box to Seung Hyun’s mom as soon as possible but he didn’t dare leave you alone right now. He knew Ji Yong was busy in the studio and Young Bae was having a date night, so that left Daesung.

“Hello? Daesung answered.

“Hey, I need a favor.” Seungri said bluntly.

“Oh?” Daesung asked.

Seungri took a deep breath and explained the whole situation as quickly as he could.

“Poor _________ -ah… she must have been so shocked. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Daesung said before hanging up.

Seungri sat down on the couch to wait and realized that he had been idly playing with the locket that you had given him. He took a few minutes to look it over, deciding that it was quite pretty. Something sleek, simple and modern looking… just the thing Seung Hyun would choose.

He wondered what could possibly be inside that you would tell him not to open it. Does she even know what it is? He thought. Probably not… hyung is just the type to put something in here and then tell her not to open it.

Shrugging to himself, he looked over his shoulder towards the hallway & then bit his lip as he carefully popped the locket open. Inside there was a small rectangle of pink paper which had been folded very precisely to be able to fit inside.

Setting the open locket down on the coffee table with great care, Seungri slowly unfolded the piece of paper. He saw nothing on the side that was facing him, so he turned it over. He smiled as he saw Seung Hyun’s familiar handwriting & started to read what was written there.

“Oh my god!” he exclaimed as he jumped up from the sofa. “Oh…. oh my….” he began pacing in front of the sofa, running a hand through his hair.

“I should not have done that! Stupid… stupid!” he scolded himself. “Bad panda!” he smacked himself on the hand. When he did that, the action knocked the note in his hand loose & it fluttered down to the ground and slid up under the sofa.

“Damn…” he muttered as he knelt down, patting the floor under the furniture blindly as he tried to find it. He grunted with effort as his fingers brushed up against something that he assumed was what he was looking for.

“Come on…” he whispered desperately. Then he let out a small yelp of triumph as he managed to barely grasp the paper in between two fingertips and pull it out from beneath the sofa.

Seungri sighed in relief as he sat back down and began carefully folding the paper exactly as it had been before. Then he picked up the locket off the table, slipped the little pink rectangle back inside and clicked it shut carefully.

**_The many days that are unfinished  
It seems like they’ll be waiting for us_ **

Seungri let out a deep breath as he gently set the now closed locket back down on the coffee table. He felt a little guilty over looking inside, yet at the same time he was glad that he had done it. He had already been determined to take care of you in his hyungs absence, but what he knew now only strengthened his resolve to do so.

He heard the front door opening and reached down to retrieve the box from under the coffee table. As Daesung came into the living room, Seungri stood up with the box under one arm.

“Thanks for coming over.” he told the other man with a nod. “She’s kind of a mess right now and I don’t want to leave her alone.”

Daesung just nodded. “Understandable. It’s not like I had plans anyway. Plus, we all made a pact to look after __________-ah while he’s gone, remember? I’m just keeping my promise.” he said with a smile.

Seungri nodded to the bag on the table. “There’s takeout in there. Make sure she eats something after she gets done with her shower. And, if you haven’t eaten yet, feel free to help yourself as well. I can always get more on my way back.” he started to walk out of the room but turned back around. Placing the box on a nearby chair, he pried it open and rummaged around in it for a second before coming out with Seung Hyun’s watch & handing it to Daesung.

Daesung just looked at him with an unspoken question in his eyes.

Seungri shrugged. “She should get to keep something. I figure his mom won’t miss that as much.” he said as he folded the box shut once more. “Oh! I almost forgot!” he pointed to the locket on the table. “Make sure that stays safe until _________-ah gets back.”

He walked out of the living room at a quick pace. From the entryway he called out “And don’t open it!” then he opened the front door and was gone.

Daesung sighed. “Okay, then…” and he set the watch down on the table next to the locket.

Picking up the bag, he headed towards the kitchen to warm up the takeout for you both.

**_The only thing left here is your shadow  
My longing for you tortures me more than my loneliness_ **

After you’d finished your shower, you had taken a while to get dried off and dressed in fresh pajamas. You didn’t understand why you felt so sluggish. The first couple of weeks after Seung Hyun had been gone had felt like this… like you were living life in dull slow motion. But things had gradually been getting better.

That is, until that damn box had arrived. You sighed in irritation as you knotted the belt on your robe before opening your door and heading downstairs. About halfway down, you were met with the smell of food and your stomach growled.

I guess he’s reheating the takeout. You thought, so you headed for the kitchen.

“That smells really good, goofball…” you said as you pushed the door open. But then your eyes caught on the man currently standing in your kitchen. “Daesung…?” you asked confused.

“Hey, _________-ah!” he said, happily as he took the last container from the microwave. “Seungri is playing delivery boy so he asked me over to keep you company. I hope you don’t mind.”

You smiled. “No, of course not. But, I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Babysitter?” he scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

**_Seems like I can catch the sound of your laughter  
But the moments weakly scatter like a sand castle_ **

About 15 minutes later, the two of you were just setting your meal down on the coffee table before plopping down in the floor.

“I hope you don’t mind eating in here.” you told him. “It just feels more relaxed this way.”

“Not at all.” he said easily. “In fact, this is how I usually eat at home.”

You reached out and picked the locket up of the table and put it back around your neck, sighing in relief as you felt it’s now familiar weight on your skin; then you noticed the watch sitting there.

“What’s that doing here? I thought Seungri was taking all of Seung Hyun’s things to his mom.” you asked, confused.

Daesung chose his next words carefully. “Um… Seungri wanted you to have it. He said you should get to keep something & he figured the watch was something Seung Hyun’s mom wouldn’t miss as much.”

You shook your head at your goofballs cleverness as you reached out to pick up the watch with trembling fingers and slipped it into the pocket of your robe. “That was thoughtful of him.” you said quietly.

He picked up his chopsticks & gestured to the necklace. “That’s pretty. A gift from Seung Hyun?” he asked as he began to eat.

“Yeah. He…” you took a breath as you picked up your own chopsticks as a distraction, trying to prevent yourself from crying yet again. “He gave it to me the day he left.”

Daesung swallowed the bite of food he’d been chewing. “Do you know the lore connected to moonstone?” he asked.

You shook your head in answer as your mouth was full & he smiled his beautiful smile at you which never failed to make you feel better.

“Well, it is said to assist in the acceptance of love. It is an excellent crystal for first or new love, and is a comforting talisman if love must be kept a secret. It was also believed to be able to reunite loved ones who had been parted.” he told you.

You reached up and ran your fingers lightly over the stone gently. “Appropriate then.” you said, quietly.

Daesung nodded. “You’ll find that Seung Hyun very rarely does anything that doesn’t have a deeper, hidden meaning. It’s just one of his many, many quirks.” he said with a wink as he took another bite of food.

**_Every night, I get nightmares  
Even in my dreams, I call out your name_ **

After you finished eating, the two of you cleaned up. You were standing in the kitchen and drying your hands after having washed up the glasses and things. Daesung placed the leftover takeout in the refrigerator and closed the door, turning to look at you; only to find you leaning on the kitchen counter heavily & silently crying.

He walked over to you and, without a word, gathered you into a tight hug. Daesung said nothing, just stood there holding you and rubbing your back soothingly as he waited patiently for you to cry yourself out. When you were mostly done, you started wiping the tears away with the towel you’d been holding.

“Sorry.” you hiccuped. “Sometimes that just happens… the littlest thing can set me off. It’s nothing you did.” you tried to reassure him.

“I know how depression works, _________-ah.” he said quietly. “I’ve been there. Maybe not under the same circumstances, but still. I know how much it hurts.”

You had a hard time trying to wrap your head around the idea of a depressed Daesung. He always seemed so happy and was forever smiling his angelic smile. But, then again, you supposed you hadn’t really known him that long and there were bound to be painful things in his past.

“How…” you whipered. “How do you get through it?”

He sighed. “One day at a time. I know that’s a cliché answer but it’s the truth.” he moved you away from him then so he could look at you. “Listen to me, ________-ah. You aren’t the only one hurting here. All of us miss Seung Hyun-ah.”

You nodded at him. “I know.”

“So why don’t we help each other out, yeah? You don’t have to do this alone. Seungri, Ji Yong, myself and Young Bae… we’re all here for you just like we are always there for each other.” he said sincerely.

Daesung reached down and took your hands in his, giving them a little squeeze.

“So, how about you be there for us too? Okay? I don’t know about the others, but I’ve always wanted another sister.” he said, his voice choking with emotion as he pulled you into a hug again.

“I’d love nothing more than to be an honorary sister to all of you.” you told him, softly.

Suddenly you knew… somehow, with the help of your four new 'brothers’, you were going to get through this, it felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from your very soul.

**Now you gotta do what you gotta do**


	6. 100 Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: I’ll call the very end of this chapter PG-13, just to be safe. Still SFW though.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

The two months after you’d acquired your new ‘brothers’ were surprisingly easier to deal with. Sure, you still missed Seung Hyun every day, but now you knew that you had a support network to help get you through your sadness.

The five of you usually sent texts back and forth several times a day and there were occasional phone calls too. You had to say that, so far, you were loving being an honorary sibling. While they didn’t fill the hole in your heart left by Seung Hyun, they were like a patch… holding it together until he came home.

The best part though, was what you had come to call “game night”. Once a week you all got together at the villa just to hang out and have some fun. You would cook and they all brought drinks and snacks. Sometimes you’d actually play games; video games, board games & card games had all happened at least once. Other nights you’d just watch a movie or TV. If there had been quite a bit of alcohol consumed, then karaoke was inevitable. (So far, that had only occurred twice.)

It just so happened that tonight was game night. You hummed happily to yourself as you flitted about, leisurely gathering up everything you would need to begin cooking. From the kitchen you heard the front door open and close. If it was one of the guys, it was most likely Ji Yong. He was almost always the first to arrive, but never this early.

As you walked out of the kitchen you called out. “Ji Yong oppa? Is that you? You’re a little early, don’t you think?” you asked as you kept walking towards the entryway checking Seung Hyun’s watch as you went. “I haven’t even… started… cooking…” your voice trailed off as you looked up from your wrist to see a pair of black combat boots.

You felt your breath hitch in your lungs as you eyes traveled upward. Legs, entirely too long to be Ji Yong’s, were encased in mottled camoflage. The camo carried over into the shirt as you kept looking up in what felt like slow motion, until your eyes finally rested on Seung Hyun’s handsome face.

Your mouth completely fell open in shock. “Seung Hyun-ah!” you yelled happily, running towards him and practically throwing yourself into his waiting arms.

You felt him chuckle as he wrapped you up in a tight hug and leaned down to bury his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply.

“Surprise, gognju-nim.” he rumbled, his warm breath fanning across your skin.

You pulled back then, reaching up to cup his face and pull him into a searing kiss. The two of you stayed like that for quite some time, simply making out in the entryway of the villa. When he finally pulled away, you whimpered at the loss of contact.

Seung Hyun looked down at you with one eyebrow quirked up. “You were expecting Ji Yong… oppa?” His voice dropped to a dangerous level as he stressed that last word.

You smiled sweetly at him as you took his hand and began pulling him to the living room. “Technically, I’m expecting all of my brothers.” you explained. “Ji Yong oppa is just usually the first to arrive, followed by Young Bae-ah, then Daesungie and the goofball is always late.” you said with an affectionate laugh as you started to sit down on the sofa.

Seung Hyun surprised you by pulling you back up, then he sat down in the De Sede chair and hauled you down into his lap.

“Look at that, _________-ah.” he said with a wink. “There may not be enough room on your lap for me, but there’s plenty of room on my lap for you.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes at his attempt at humor as you slid your arms around his neck and nestled into him.

“So… brothers?” he asked as he dug his fingers playfully into your side. “Care to explain?”

You took a deep breath and made yourself comfortable, laying your head against his shoulder. Then you told him the long complicated story of the past couple months, starting with the arrival of the box and ending with how you and the guys had sort of adopted each other.

He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry about the box, __________-ah. I had no idea it would end up here. I guess they just used my home address and since you’re number one on my list of emergency contacts, it had your name on it.”

“I’m number one on your emergency contacts?” you squeaked in surprise as you sat back up. You knew that his mom was number one on his speed dial, so you figured it would be her or even his sister. Instead it was you and you felt a small touch of pride about that fact.

“Of course.” he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Please tell me that the box somehow made it to my mother.”

You nodded. “Seungri took it over that night. Well, everything but this…” you held up the wrist that wore his watch.

He smiled. “I noticed that. It’s too big for you though.” he chuckled as he ran a finger over the watch face.

“I don’t care.” you told him firmly. “Every time I look at it, it makes me think of you and smile. So, I’m keeping it… at least, until you get back for good.”

“Fair enough.” he chuckled.

“So, not that I’m not absolutely thrilled to see you… but how are you even here?” you asked. “I thought I wasn’t going to get to see you again until you were done.”

“It’s my 100 day break.” he explained. “I get a week now and another one after 6 months and then again 6 months after that.”

You smacked him on the arm. “Why didn’t you tell me that in the beginning?”

“I wanted to surprise you.” he said with a wink. “Surprise!” he leaned over and began kissing you again.

“Mmmmm… great surprise.” you told him with a smile in between kisses. “Say… We should have a couple hours before they start showing up. What would you like to do?”

He flashed you a wicked grin. “Two hours is not enough time for what I want to do.” he said, his voice husky. “But I’ll settle for a long, hot shower and a nap in a real bed… for now”

“Sounds like a plan. Besides, we will have time…later.” you winked suggestively. “Do you want me to tell them that you’re here or would you rather surprise them too?”

“Always go for the surprise, ___________-ah.” he laughed. “Always.”

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Almost precisely two hours later, the front door opened again. This time you were busy cooking and couldn’t exactly leave the kitchen to greet whomever it was, most likely Ji Yong.

You were a tad bit surprised when you heard Young Bae’s voice instead. “_________-ah?” he called out.

“In the kitchen!” you yelled back.

A few moments later the door swung open and Young Bae came into the room, his arms laden with bags of food and drinks.

“You beat Ji Yong here this time.” you told him, giving him a wide smile before turning back to the chicken that was frying on the stove.

“Really?” he asked, surprised.

The two of you fell into a familiar routine of preparing everything as the others began to arrive, one by one. By the time thirty minutes had passed, everyone was there and everything was ready. The five of you talked, joked and goofed around as always while you filled your plates and grabbed beverages before moving into the living room.

You were all comfortably spread out on the floor eating and talking just like any other game night, the guys blissfully unaware that Seung Hyun was upstairs, most likely asleep. You wondered how he was managing to nap, honestly. You knew just how loud game night could get.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After you were all done eating, the real fun began. Tonight, you’d all agreed to play poker and you were currently four hands into the game. You were still in the floor, your feet resting in Ji Yong’s lap while you leaned up against Daesung.

Unbeknownst to all of you, Seung Hyun had crept downstairs and was watching the scene before him with great interest from the darkened hallway. He wasn’t sure whether to be jealous of the skinship that was going on or to be happy that you got along so well with his best friends. In the end, he decided that he was grateful that he had found someone who could fit so easily into their tight knit little family.

“I’ll take two.” you told Young Bae with a smile, as he was currently the dealer.

“Aish!” Seungri exclaimed as he threw his cards down. “I’m out.” he said sullenly.

“I guess that leaves you and and me, princess.” Ji Yong smirked at you, stressing the pet name as he attempted to lower his voice to Seung Hyun’s level.

“Don’t even try that with me, oppa.” you teased as you threw a piece of popcorn at him, laughing when he caught it easily and popped it into his mouth. “Now stop trying to distract me and either bet or show me your cards.”

You both bet back and forth a few times before finally revealing your cards. You beat him handily and he groaned in embarrassment as you raked in your chips.

“Arrrrgh!” he cried out in frustration. “Cheater…” he stuck his tongue out at you playfully.

Before you could reply a deep voice rumbled. “My gongju-nim does not cheat.” Seung Hyun said as he walked into the living room. “Please tell me there’s food left… I’m starving.”

There were a few seconds of shocked surprise before everything around you erupted into chaos. You watched amused from your place on the floor as four grown men screamed in surprise and attempted to all get up out of the floor in a rush.

As they all swarmed around Seung Hyun in a group, you laughed until tears formed in your eyes at their obvious happiness. As the five men hugged, high-fived and yelled in excitement, you would’ve sworn that the love in the room was entirely palpable.

They all eventually went into the kitchen so Seung Hyun could get some food, leaving you behind to clean up the mess in the living room. You didn’t really mind though, they deserved to have some time together.

You’d just finished putting the cards and chips away when they all came back, still excitedly talking among themselves. You stood up out of the floor then & Seungri handed you another drink.

“Thanks.” you told him with a smile.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us he was here.” Seungri said, smacking your arm lightly.

You just shrugged. “He didn’t want me to. Besides, you all didn’t tell me about military breaks, so I say were even!”

After some debate, it was decided that a movie was in order. As the four others argued over what to watch, Seung Hyun pulled you over to the De Sede chair and sat down, tugging you into his lap. You just looked at him in slight shock. You had thought he wouldn’t want to show you too much affection with the guys around. He just smiled at you innocently, looked down at his plate of food that he had placed in your lap and then back up at you. He did this several times before you finally got the hint that he wanted you to feed him.

“Really?” you rolled your eyes but complied with his unspoken request when he opened his mouth like a baby bird. Suddenly you heard a chorus of 'awwwww’s’ and a 'how cute’ from the others.

You blushed, but Seung Hyun merely looked at you with a coy smirk on his lips as he chewed.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Once the movie was over you stood and stretched from your place on the floor. About halfway through the movie, you’d ended up down there with your head leaning against Seung Hyun’s knee as he gently massaged your shoulders.

You felt him stand up behind you. “Can I trust you all to clean up before you leave?” he asked the guys.

They all shared a knowing smirk and replied in the affirmative.

“Good.” he said with a mischievous smile. “I’ll see you all in a couple of days then.”

The next thing you knew, Seung Hyun had swept you up into his arms bridal style and was taking quick strides towards the hallway. You buried your face into his chest in embarrassment as you heard the cat calls from your 'brothers’ echo down the hall behind you.

Once you’d reached his bedroom, he set you down gently in the middle of the room. Then he went back and closed the door leaning against it, crossing his arms over his chest. You still found him irresistibly sexy, even in his stiff, itchy camo.

“Do you have to wear that?” you asked as you gestured to his clothes. “I figured you would have changed into something more comfortable now that you’re home.”

“Unfortunately, yes…” he sighed. “I’m supposed to wear it all the time, except for sleeping. I hate it.” he pouted.

“Fashionista.” you teased him with a smile.

He simply chuckled. “I’ll not deny it.”

A silence began to stretch between you, almost to the point of being uncomfortable. You knew what he’d brought you up here for… or at least, you thought you knew. You couldn’t help but wonder why he was still standing there staring at you instead of making a move.

You’d been expecting something rough and needy, after all it had been over 3 months since you’d last been together. What you hadn’t expected was how he looked at you with amusement as he saw the way you stared hungrily at him & you began to nervously fidget.

“Eager?” he asked softly.

You felt yourself blow out a breath in irritation. “You know I am.”

“Me too, gognju-nim… Me too.” his deep voice rumbled seductively.

You bit your lower lip, tensing as you waited. When he still did nothing, you took your time to observe him, noticing the way his long-fingered hands clenched into fists at his side, telling you that he wanted to touch you.

“What are you waiting for?” you whispered.

“I’m curious.” he answered enigmatically. “You’re so tense right now, _________-ah. Are you shaking?” he sounded entertained at the thought.

You nodded. “I want you.” you told him bluntly, tired of playing whatever game he had in mind.

As if that’s what he’d been waiting to hear, Seung Hyun pushed himself up off the door and came to stand directly in front of you. Carefully, so as not to touch you in any way, he leaned down and whispered very quietly. “Then I suggest you take me.”

Almost before he had finished speaking, you lunged forward and pressed your lips against his, kissing him hard and deep. You placed your hands against his chest and shoved him back towards the bed, the two of you tearing at each others clothes as you went.

Everything that followed was a blur of passion and pleasure. You honestly had no clue how much time passed or how many ways you managed to reach your ultimate high. Each moment simply bled into the next in an endless stream of mutual love & adoration.

When the two of you were finally sated you laid amongst the tangled sheets, holding each other tightly. Your head rested on his chest, not even caring about the fine sheen of sweat that covered it because you were both sweaty and sticky in the best possible way. You felt his chest rise and fall as his breathing began to even out and his heart beat against your ear started to calm to a regular pace.

Euphoria… that was the only word you could think of to describe what you were currently feeling. One of Seung Hyun’s arms was wrapped firmly around your shoulders while his other hand traced fingers lightly up and down your spine over and over again, calming you and beginning to lull you into sleep.

He’d been gone 100 days. For you, it had felt like eternity. But tonight, you would sleep in the same bed. The villa had it’s master back and the princess had her prince.

That knowledge seemed to settle something deep inside you. When he was here… you had this feeling that everything was just as it should be and you had never felt such peace.

Seung Hyun feels like home. That was your last thought as you drifted off into a contented, restful sleep… the first one you’d had in 100 days.


	7. One Week & a Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: It’s not really fluffy & it’s not angsty… somewhere in the middle?
> 
> Author’s Note: I’m not entirely sure about this chapter. To me, it came out a little disjointed… but it’s difficult to tell the events of an entire week & make it flow. Oh well, hopefully you’ll like it anyway. :) 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

The week that Seung Hyun was home had felt entirely too short. After the first day being game night, the two of you had spent the entire second day all by yourselves in the villa.

Amazingly, his phone didn’t go off even once and he assured you that, even if it had, he would’ve ignored it. In fact, you’d hardly even left his bedroom; only venturing downstairs occasionally for quick snacks or a bottle of wine.

The third day, Seung Hyun had spent with his family. To be fair, he had invited you along with him but you’d decided that it would be better if he went alone. You knew that he still hadn’t told his mother about your relationship. Neither of you were exactly sure how she was going to react to her son dating a foreign woman.

You knew it could sometimes be a touchy subject in Korean culture, especially for older generations. Therefore you didn’t feel like Seung Hyun was ashamed of you or anything, he was simply waiting for the right time to bring it up & that time was not now.

Instead, you had made yourself busy around the villa. You stripped and washed the sheets from Seung Hyun’s bed, replacing them with a new set. Because heaven knew that after the numerous activities of the second day, it needed to be done.

You also washed and folded everything that he’d brought along in his duffel bag. You weren’t even sure if it was dirty laundry or not, all you knew is that it didn’t even smell close to clean. When he had come home, Seung Hyun had teased you about your domesticity. But deep down, he was secretly thrilled at how something so simple could make him feel so loved.

Day four, Seung Hyun spent the entire day with you and Yeon Jun. You had made a fort in the living room out of pillows, blankets and furniture, then proceeded to spend almost all day in there; coloring, reading, tickling and (after taking one side of the fort apart) watching cartoons. To your great surprise, Seung Hyun even insisted that both lunch and nap time happen in the fort too.

After cleaning up lunch, you’d read ‘Green Eggs and Ham’, then the three of you had settled in to nap. You tried to ignore the serious tug on your heartstrings as Yeon Jun had insisted on being cuddled in between the two of you as he slept. The look you’d shared with Seung Hyun over the boy’s sleeping form gave you shivers as it felt like you were glimpsing a possible future with him; one in which you spent days just like this with your own adorable children.

The fifth day he had been out of the house with the guys all day. Seriously, all day. He had crept out of bed before you even woke up, leaving you a post it note on the mostly full coffee pot as was his habit.

It read: _Spending the day with your brothers._

You didn’t even hear him come home or slide into your bed next to you early in the morning. All you knew is that you’d woken up on the sixth day to find Seung Hyun’s warm body curled around yours, his arm draped around your waist.

To say it was a tight fit was an understatement. You weren’t exactly sure why he thought slipping into your twin bed with you was a good idea, but you had to admit that you were glad he had. When your alarm went off, he grumbled as you got up to walk over to the desk and turn it off.

“Come back to bed, __________-ah.” he whined, stretching his arm out towards you.

“Well, I’d like to.” you admitted. “But I have a job to do.”

He snorted as he cracked one sleepy eye open to look at you. “Really? Your boyfriend is home from the military and your boss is making you work today? Must be a heartless slave-driver.”

You laughed as you headed towards your bathroom for a shower. “Oh, he is…” you told him with a wink as you walked past him & then you shut the bathroom door.

After your shower, you’d quickly dressed in your every day uniform and styled your hair before heading downstairs. You were surprised that Seung Hyun hadn’t started the coffee already, but you figured that perhaps he had taken a shower as well.

You started the coffee and after Yeon Jun had arrived, you began making breakfast for the three of you.

Seung Hyun eventually made his way down and you ate breakfast together in the kitchen. After that, he had disappeared into his office for the rest of the morning. Just before lunch he had actually left for a little while, but not before letting you know that he’d be back by dinner.

You were currently getting ready to read Yeon Jun his story before nap time. He was snuggled into your side while you both sat on the sofa, but before you could begin the book he had interrupted you with a question.

“Nanny, can I ask you something?” he asked.

You nodded. “Sure thing, Rabbit. What is it?”

“Samchon has to leave again tomorrow, right?” he began, in a quiet & thoughtful voice.

You just nodded, not wanting to interrupt his train of thought.

“I miss Samchon when he’s gone.” he sighed deeply. “I was wondering… do you miss him too?”

You were a bit taken aback by his question and you knew you had to answer it very carefully.

“Well, yes… the house gets a little lonely sometimes when he’s away.” you said.

“But you don’t feel lonely when I’m here, do you?” he asked.

“No.” you told him with a smile. “You make the loneliness go away and make me happy again.”

He smiled back at you. “Good! Because I promised Samchon that I’d take care of you while he was gone.” he said with a touch of pride.

“Did you now?” you looked at him in surprise & he nodded at you with a giggle. “Then I’d say you’re doing a fine job, young man.” you told him as you ruffled his hair.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After Yeon Jun had gone home for the day & you had changed clothes, you began to prepare dinner. As it was his last night home before leaving the next morning, Seung Hyun had requested that you make him your 'almost salad nicoise’. You were just pulling the tuna from the oven when you heard the front door open.

“Just in time.” you said quietly to yourself with a smile.

Only a moment later he walked into the kitchen to see you sliding the baking tray onto the counter. “Looks like I’m just in time.” he said, walking over and giving you a peck on the cheek.

You laughed. “That’s what I just said to myself.”

“I’ll get the wine and meet you in the dining room.” he said with a chuckle of his own.

You couldn’t help but hum in happiness at how normal this all felt, like you were back in sync & he had never left. The two of you ate, drank and talked about your day. You knew you were going to miss this tomorrow, but you were so caught up in the moment now that you didn’t want to think about it.

After you were both finished, you stood and began to gather up the plates & Seung Hyun picked up the empty wine glasses and bottle, following you into the kitchen.

He suddenly turned to you after setting everything down. “So… want to get some ice cream?” he asked.

You turned to him, surprised. “Um, yeah… I suppose I could go get us some ice cream.” you said. But as soon as you took a step toward the door, his hand reached out to grab your wrist to stop you.

“That’s not what I meant, ___________-ah.” he shook his head. “I meant, do you want to get some ice cream… together?”

You could feel the way your eyebrows shot up in shock. Even though you had technically been together for over a year now, you’d only been out on two dates. To others, it might seem strange… but to you it just seemed like Seung Hyun didn’t much care for crowds and public spaces & you tried your best to respect that.

Still, you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face. “I’d love that, actually.” you told him sincerely.

He smiled back at you. “Great… just let me get my hat. It wouldn’t do for me to be in public without the entire uniform on.”

“Okay, I’ll run some water over these dishes and then meet you by the door.” you said, already turning back to the sink.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A few minutes later and you were slipping your shoes on, trying not to laugh as Seung Hyun cursed quietly while performing the arduous task of lacing up his boots. He finally finished and turned to you, fishing something out of his pocket before handing it to you.

Looking it over after you took it, you realized that it was a plain, black face mask. You started to protest, but when you looked up he already had his in place. It looked a little strange to you because between the hat and the mask, all you could really see were his eyes. But since he was willing to venture out, you figured you could humor him and wear a mask as well.

You were pleasantly surprised that Seung Hyun apparently wanted to walk to the ice cream shop. It felt heavenly walking down the street with your arms linked together, just like any other normal couple. The only thing throwing off the 'normalness’ a bit was the security guard trailing discreetly behind you. But honestly, you were used to their presence at this point.

You reached the store much too quickly for your liking, but you were still enjoying yourself. Seung Hyun let go of your arm to hold the door open for you and you slid inside, noticing that it was almost empty.

Already knowing what you wanted, he pointed you in the direction of a corner table, the one furthest away from the door and the large glass storefront. With a skip in your step you waved to your 'Halmeoni’ as you passed where she was behind the counter.

Seung Hyun walked over to her then & slowly pulled his mask down so he could order. From your place in the corner you didn’t hear her gasp of surprise, but you did see his shoulders shake as he chuckled and pressed a finger to his lips, motioning for her to be quiet. You watched the rest of their exchange with great curiosity, unable to make out a single word from your distance.

“Shhhhh…” Seung Hyun said quietly.

“You… you…” the old lady stuttered, but she wasn’t fawning over his celebrity status. Seung Hyun came into the shop often enough for ice cream that she was used to it by now. No, she was in a slight state of shock because she’d just managed to put together that the man you had been talking her ear off about was, in fact, him.

“She doesn’t know who I am.” he told her with a pleading expression. “I’d like to keep it that way.” he said with a playful wink.

“So you decided to take her out in public?” she snapped at him, apparently back to her old grumpy self. “Go on, boy. I already know what you both want anyway.”

He merely smiled at her as he put his mask back in place. “Thanks.” he said & then made his way over to where you sat waiting for him, his back towards the door and all the other patrons.

“What was that all about?” you asked as he sat down.

“Hmmmm? Oh, nothing you need to worry about gongju-nim.” he reached out, taking one of your hands in his. His thumb stroking soothingly over the back of your hand made you forget about your curiosity.

A few minutes later your 'Halmeoni’ delivered the ice cream and two cups of coffee to your table. Taking a deep breath, she leveled Seung Hyun with a hard stare. “You’re playing with fire boy. If you aren’t careful… one of you is going to get burned.” she said, sounding ominous.

He just ducked his head meekly before replying. “Yes ma'am. I know.”

She smirked at him before turning to you with a softer gaze. “I expect he’s been home on 100 day break?” she asked.

You just nodded, still too surprised at her interaction with Seung Hyun to actually speak.

“I thought so… haven’t seen you all week.” she said affectionately as she reached out and patted your cheek. “I’m sure you’ll be in a few days after he leaves then. I’ll be waiting.” and, just like that, she left to go check on the other customers.

Before you could even ask him what was going on, Seung Hyun pointed down to the coffee. “Coffee with ice cream?” he asked, sounding perplexed.

You nodded to him blankly, still trying to piece the odd events together. “Yeah, I… uh… I like the combination of cold and hot.” you said absently.

He quirked one eyebrow up as he pulled his mask down around his neck. “Oh really?” he asked with a devilish glint in his eye. “I’ll have to keep that in mind… for later.” he said, taking a bite of his ice cream.

You swallowed thickly at the implication of his wry words and took a sip of coffee to ease your suddenly dry mouth. “That could be… interesting.” you squeaked.

Seung Hyun chuckled at your obvious agitated state before taking another spoonful of his ice cream and you did the same.

From behind the counter she watched the two of you discreetly as you ate your ice cream, talked and laughed. If she were honest with herself, seeing you interact with Seung Hyun reminded her so much of her late husband that it almost physically hurt.

Wistfully, she saw the way that you stared lovingly into Seung Hyun’s eyes and the way he cleaned up a bit of ice cream from the corner of your mouth with his thumb.

_They look so good together. She thought with a smile. Hopefully he will tell her the truth soon, before something potentially bad happens…_


	8. Notes and Broken Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Little bit of fluff, little bit of angst. It’s a fine balance really.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

It wasn’t quite as hard when Seung Hyun had to leave the second time. After breakfast on the seventh day, you’d actually been able to give him a goodbye kiss right before he walked out the door. When he was gone, you’d managed to keep it together and not cry… even though you knew it would be twice as long until you would see him again.

One thing that made it a little more bearable was that you now had an address, so you could write to Seung Hyun and send him care packages. In fact, shortly after he left, you had already begun making a list of things that you could send in the first one.

The next morning you’d woken up determined to go shopping for things to put in your care package, since it was Saturday and you had nothing better to do.

Making your way into the bathroom, you opened up the shower door only to see a note stuck to your shampoo bottle. Curious, you reached out and peeled it off to read it.

_I hope you find this one first. I’ve hidden notes all over the villa. Don’t go looking for them all at once! Take your time… spread them out… find them by accident. Perhaps, in some small way, it will feel like I am there with you then.  
Each time you find one, my wish is that reading it puts a smile on your face. Please know that I am thinking of you and missing you always._

_Yours,  
Seung Hyun_

_P.S. I hope you feel beautiful today._

You couldn’t help the happy tears that slowly made their way down your cheeks. Here you were, getting ready to go out to get things for a care package to send to Seung Hyun… only to find that he’d left you his own emotional care package of sorts.

It was something so romantic, so surprising, and so unmistakably ‘him’. Choosing to leave you beautiful words of love and admiration meant more to you than any material thing he could’ve given.

These were his feelings, his innermost thoughts written down by his own hand & left for you to find like the world’s greatest treasure hunt.

You didn’t think that it was possible, but the fact that he had gone out of his way to do this for you just made you love him that much more. He’d only had a week to be home, and you knew that week had been incredibly busy. But he had still taken the time to do this for you, to ensure that you were comforted by his words while he couldn’t physically be there. It made you feel as if he truly cherished you.

The fact that you were over a year into your relationship with Seung Hyun & neither one of you had actually said, “I love you” yet didn’t really bother you. Both of you were quite adept at showing each other your love rather than just saying it. All the little things that happened between you, even being happy sitting together in the silence, spoke volumes about your feelings towards one another without ever uttering a single word. You would much rather hear it from his heart than from his lips.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Two days later, you’d shipped your first care package. In it was a large assortment of bath products because he had complained about the standard issue stuff. There were also a few pairs of socks, some handkerchiefs and a fold-able comb that you thought he might like. You’d also sent a picture of Yeon Jun, taken while he was making a kissy face at the camera.

In fact, the boy had gone with you to the post office to ship the box. You’d made an adventure out of it, leaving in the morning to drop it off, followed by some time at a local park. Then you’d taken him out for lunch and ice cream before making you way back to the villa.

You had just sat down to read him his story before nap time when you found your second note from Seung Hyun. The book that had been picked out was 'Horton Hears a Who’, which had quickly become one of Yeon Jun’s favorites. When you opened it to read, however, a brilliant flash of yellow caught your eye. Stuck to the inside front cover was a little post it note:

_You’re the person I want to be with when I want to be alone._

You felt yourself smile as you pulled the note from the book, careful not to let Yeon Jun read it. You had to admit, you were a bit surprised by what was written there. Seung Hyun was a man that valued his privacy and you knew that his 'alone time’ was something that he valued. To think that he wanted to share that time with you… well, that was high praise coming from him.

“What is it Nanny?” the boy asked.

“It’s a note from your Uncle.” you explained with a smile as you slid it into your pocket. “Apparently he’s hidden some all over for me to find while he’s gone.”

You watched as his eyes lit up with excitement. “Oh, like a game!”

“Yes, sort of like a game.” you said.

Over the next six months, you sent many care packages. For each one, you tried to keep it in the same sort of theme. Sometimes it was a refill of bath items, others it was food. A couple of times you’d sent an entire box of nothing but cookies and candy, knowing that he’d have to share with his fellow soldiers.

But one thing was always the same… in each one, you sent a picture. You’d sent pictures of the guys, pictures of Yeon Jun, and occasionally just random photos of things that you had thought were pretty. There had also been a couple selcas of you thrown in for good measure.

You’d also managed to find three more notes. The next one was hidden on a box in one of the kitchen cabinets. You had stumbled across it while making food for game night one week.

_I’m addicted to the way I feel when I think of you._

The one after that was in the very back of the book you’d been reading.

_It’s not easy to be me… which is why I need you._

And the last one was stuck to the bottom of your sock drawer.

_Isn’t it kind of amazing how a person who was once a complete stranger, can suddenly, and without warning, mean the entire world to you?_

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Before you knew it, the six months had passed and it was time for Seung Hyun to be home again. The week passed much like the previous break had. The only difference being that he spent much more time sleeping than before. You could tell that the 9 months he’d spent in the military were beginning to take their toll on him.

But nothing could have prepared you for the final break at 15 months.

It had been dim and overcast all day & once the night fell, so did the rain. You knew that Seung Hyun was due to come home today but he was nowhere to be seen. He might have gone to see his mother or maybe even the guys. Still, you were worriedly pacing the living room when you finally heard the front door open.

You rushed to the entryway and saw him standing there with a blank expression on his face, door still wide open with the storm raging outside. Lightning flashed, silhouetting Seung Hyun’s long, thin form.

“Seung Hyun-ah?” you asked as you walked to him. “Everything okay?” you asked, shutting the door.

He nodded but still didn’t speak. Looking at him, you felt as if you were staring at a ghost…. a mere shell of the man you were used to. You approached him cautiously, as one might a frightened horse.

“Come on, naui wangja. You’re swaying… let’s get you to bed before you fall down.” you said.

Still not getting any response from him you knelt down on the floor and began unlacing his boots. He did lift his feet when you prompted him so you could slide the boots off his feet. Once you’d done that, you took one of his arms and placed it around your shoulders in order to support him as you walked him upstairs to his bedroom.

Leaving him standing in the middle of the room, you walked to the bathroom and ran a hot bath. You thought that he must be cold because he was completely soaked through from the rain. When the tub was full you went back in the bedroom & he was still standing there with that same blank stare.

Taking him by the hand, you led him into the bathroom, stripped him down and managed to get him to slip into the bath. You gathered up his clothes from the floor and took them out into the bedroom to put them in the hamper, even though they were wet. You figured you would just wash them tomorrow anyway.

Returning to the bathroom, you saw him just sitting there in the hot water, not making any move to actually bathe himself. You felt your brow crease with worry as you gathered up everything you would need and you started to wash Seung Hyun. As you ran the soapy washcloth over his skin, you told him all about the past six months; things that you had done with Yeon Jun or crazy stories about stuff that had happened during game night, but you got no reaction.

You’d even washed his hair, finding that he would at least tilt his head back when you’d asked him to so you could rinse the suds out. Once you were satisfied that he was clean and warm, you pulled the plug to let the water out.

At this point, he surprised you by standing up and climbing out of the tub by himself. You still toweled him off slowly, trying your best not to notice just how painfully skinny he’d become since the last time he was home.

When he was dry, you led him back into the bedroom. After you pulled the covers down, you gently dressed him in a pair of pajamas. You had a fleeting, sad thought that doing all this was a lot like looking after a toddler.

You tucked him tightly into the middle of the bed, just like you knew he preferred and turned out the light, leaving the room dimly illuminated by the lamp in the corner. When you turned to go towards the door, you felt one of his long-fingered hands wrap around your wrist.

“Stay.” he said simply. It was the first thing he’d said to you all evening. But you knew it wasn’t a command… it was a plea.

“I’m just going to go get some pajamas.” you told him quietly. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Use mine.” he said.

He didn’t let go of your wrist until you said. “Okay.”

Once you were dressed in a pair of his pajamas, you crawled into bed next to him. Immediately, you felt him wrap his arms around your hips & he buried his face in your stomach.

After a few moments you felt the fabric around your middle begin to grow wet & you realized that he was silently crying.

“Oh, Seung Hyun-ah…” you sighed. You really had no idea what you could do for him, so you simply began running your fingers through his damp hair. When his sobs finally became audible and you noticed his shoulders shaking, you started singing to him softly.

You had lost track of just how long you stayed like that, him clinging to you like a lifeline. But you finally noticed that the tears and sobs had stopped. Apparently, he had cried himself to sleep.

“Sleep now… your princess has got you.” you told him softly.

The next morning, you’d awoken to find Seung Hyun gone. In a slight panic, you’d scrambled from the bed and rushed to the door. But when you wrenched it open, you were greeted by the reassuring smell of coffee wafting up from downstairs.

Still, you wasted no time rushing down the stairs and to the kitchen, finding him sitting at the table with a steaming mug held in between his large hands. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes followed you as you made your own cup before taking the seat across from him.

The two of you sat in silence as you sipped your coffee, neither one of you really sure what to say. After a while, Seung Hyun suddenly cleared his throat.

Taking a deep breath, he said. “Thank you… for last night.”

He said it quietly but sincerely and you could tell that he was slightly embarrassed by what had happened. You weren’t sure what you could say without making his embarrassment worse, so you’d just nodded.

“You didn’t try to force me to talk…” he said slowly. “I really appreciate that.”

You shrugged. “Sometimes words are just superfluous.”

Before you really had time to realize it, he had stood up and pulled you from your seat, wrapping you up in his arms. Even though the mood felt heavy, you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face at the feeling. You nuzzled your cheek against his chest, taking a deep breath in through your nose so you could savor his scent.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” he whispered into your hair.

It didn’t sound like a question he really expected you to answer, so you kept quiet. After a few moments, he pulled back to look down at you.

“Why do you stay?” he asked, softly. But before you could answer, he continued. “I’m so mercurial and my life is so fucked up… why are you waiting for me?”

“Two reasons…” you said, smiling. “One, because you asked me to. And two, because I love you.”

You watched his eyes widen and you weren’t sure if it was surprise at what you’d just said for the first time or if it was fear. His features changed into one of stony determination as he sat you back down in your chair. Then he refreshed both of your cups of coffee before sitting down and taking your hands in his.

“I need to tell you a story…” he began slowly.

For the next hour, you sat and listened carefully as he told you all about his first girlfriend. About how he had thought he loved her and about how she had made him choose between her and his career. He had, obviously, chosen the job. At the time, it had devastated him to the point where he never thought he would be able to love again. As he wound down, he looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something.

“Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no; it is an ever-fixed mark, that looks on tempests, and is never shaken.” you quoted.

“Shakespeare?” he chuckled. “I pour my heart out to you and you quote Shakespeare at me?”

You could tell by the tone of his voice that he was more amused than anything.

“Hey… if the sonnet fits.” you said with a wink. “Seriously though, what she did…” you sighed. “Using love to get in the way of someones dreams and ambitions is wrong. You should never have had to make that choice.”

“No…” he said carefully. “Still, I think I made the right one.”

“So do I.” you told him.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The rest of that week, Seung Hyun seemed to slowly come back to himself. When it came time for him to leave for the last 7 months of his service, he faced it with the determination to get it over with and out of the way so he could finally come home to you for good.

Four days later, you found a note stuck to the bag of coffee you pulled from the cabinet.

_I love you too, gongju-nim…_


	9. The Pram

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: A few angsty bits…
> 
> Author’s Note: I really quite like this chapter. Hope you do too!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

The morning that you had found Seung Hyuns note stuck to the coffee, you didn’t think that your day could get any better… but you had been wrong.

When Hye Yoon dropped off Yeon Jun that morning, she had surprised you by asking if she could talk with you before you started to make breakfast. You were a little concerned that it was something potentially bad, but she didn’t seem to be upset or anything.

After telling Yeon Jun to go play in the playroom for a bit, she gestured towards the sofa & you both sat down.

“I have something to tell you.” she said with a timid smile. “Something that could potentially affect your job.”

Your eyes widened at that statement. “Um, okay…” you said, unsure.

Hye Yoon took a deep breath before blurting out. “I’m pregnant.”

“What?” you said in shock. “Really? That’s great news!”

“You’re not upset or anything?” she asked quietly. “I know you didn’t sign on to take care of two children… much less a pre-schooler and a newborn.”

You smiled. “Oh that’s nothing! You did see that my final test family had a set of triplet toddlers, right?”

She nodded.

“Compared to that, a pre-schooler and a newborn will be a piece of cake.” you laughed and it seemed to ease her tension somewhat. “When are you due?”

“In about 6 months.” she said, laying a hand on her stomach. “I’ll go to the doctor to find out what I’m having in a couple of weeks.”

“Hoping for anything in particular?” you asked.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t kind of want a girl this time around.” she said with a chuckle that sounded like a lighter version of Seung Hyun’s.

“Have you told Yeon Jun yet?” you asked.

You watched as the smile faded from her face.

“We told him last night…” she said with a sigh. “I’m afraid he’s not taking it very well.”

“I see…” you said seriously. “I’ll be sure to be extra careful with him for a while. Maybe I can convince him to change his mind.”

“Oh, I hope so!” she told you, a little teary. “I already feel guilty for adding to your work load without being able to increase your pay. I hate the fact that my son is upset with me as well.”

“Don’t you worry about pay.” you said as you patted her knee. “Seung Hyun never did take out my ‘cost of living’ increase, so I already make too much as it is. Every time I brought it up, he’d change the subject or just ignore me.”

She snorted. “Yeah… that sounds like my brother.” there was a slight pause before she asked. “So, how are things between you two?”

“Good… great even. The past 15 months have been rough, but worth it. I’ll just be relieved when it’s over.” you said truthfully.

“I know that feeling.” she said with a smile. “I’m really glad things are working out between you. It’s nice seeing him finally happy in a relationship again.”

Then, to your great surprise, she leaned over and gave you a tight hug.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

After Hye Yoon had left, you went into the playroom to ask Yeon Jun what he’d like for breakfast. But before you could say anything, he did.

“I guess she told you.” he said sadly.

You sat down on the floor next to him where he was playing. “Told me what, rabbit?” you asked.

“About the baby.” he said, still pouting.

“Yes.. your mother and I did talk about that.” you told him. “She said that you weren’t very happy about it.”

He just shook his head silently.

“Do you mind if I ask why?” you said softly.

He looked up at you then from where he was laying in the floor. “I don’t want to share my mom. I don’t want to share my uncle. I don’t want to share my toys. And I really don’t want to share my nanny!” he finished assertively.

_Ah, the simple mind of a child._ You thought to yourself.

“Hmmm… I can understand that.” you said.

He looked at you in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. I had an older sister growing up and I’m pretty sure that she didn’t want to share with me either.” you explained.

“But… but… you’re so great!” he said in confusion.

“Thanks, rabbit.” you said with a smile as you reached out to affectionately ruffle his hair. “And you never know… the baby might turn out to be great too. But you won’t know unless you give it a fair chance.”

“Okay.” he said with a determined look as he got up. “I guess I can do that. Can we have breakfast now? I’m hungry!”

“Of course.” you stood up & took his hand, playfully skipping with him into the kitchen.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A couple days later, Hye Yoon once again asked to speak to you. When Yeon Jun disappeared down the hallway, she shocked you by pulling you into a tear-filled hug.

“Thank you! I don’t know what you did to change Yeon Jun’s mind… but thank you so, so much.” she sobbed lightly.

“Um…” you said, slightly uncomfortable. “You’re welcome?”

She pulled back to look at you. “Sorry…” she said as she rubbed the tears away. “Stupid hormones.”

You smiled in understanding, handing her the handkerchief that you kept in your pocket. “That’s okay. It’s no big deal really.”

“Trust me, It’s a huge deal. How can I ever repay you?” she asked.

“Well… there might be one thing.” you said, shyly.

“Name it.” she said, her sudden seriousness reminding you so much of Seung Hyun it was almost scary.

“I want to learn how to cook Korean food. I, um… I’ve tried a couple of things out of a cookbook I bought. But I think I could learn faster through actual instruction and all the classes I can find are held during the day. So, do you think you could teach me?” you asked, slightly embarrassed.

A huge smile grew on her face. “Ohhhhhh! Trying to impress my brother by learning how to cook the native cuisine?”

“Yeah…” you blushed. “Something like that.”

Hye Yoon laughed. “Good idea. I’m sure he would appreciate the effort. Although, I’m not sure that I would be the best teacher. Omma would be better.”

You swallowed thickly. “Really? Do you think she would?”

“Oh, please…” she said as she rolled her eyes. “You saved her grandson from choking to death! She would do practically anything for you. Besides, this could be your chance to get on her good side so that when she finds out about your relationship, she won’t freak out.”

“Yeah… there is that.” you sighed.

From then on, twice a week, Hye Yoon and Seung Hyun’s mother would come over and the three of you would prepare dinner together. You had to admit, it was actually quite fun and you hoped that he would be pleasantly surprised with the results when he finally came home.

_______________________________________________________________________________--

One month later…

You tapped the credit card against the side of the laptop in indecision.

Tap. Tap. Tap…

You sighed loudly as the war within your brain continued.

_It was really expensive. Like, really expensive. But you also really, really wanted it. So much so that it was bordering on lust. And Seung Hyun had given you the credit card for work related expenses. You had never used it before, not even once. And this purchase was within the spending limit he had set for you… if only just._

Sighing again, you looked over the specifications and shipping times. If it was going to get here in time you needed to order it now.

“Screw it.” you mumbled.

In 10 minutes you had taken the plunge and bought the navy blue and white pram that you’d been looking at online for weeks. You swallowed thickly as you looked at the receipt in your conformation email. $4000. Oh well, at least you got free shipping all the way from England with your purchase.

Ever since Hye Yoon had told you she was pregnant, you spent your free time looking at baby equipment. Your dreams had been consumed by visions of pushing a tiny infant through the park in a beautiful English style pram while Yeon Jun held your hand. It was the idyllic Nanny image that every one of your former classmates craved but so few would actually get to live. 

Still… you had just spent over 4 million Won on a freaking pram. You felt yourself wince as you read the figure on the screen again. You had about 6 months until Seung Hyun would be home. Maybe you could put part of the money you had just spent back by then. Surely he wouldn’t be as upset if you could pay some of it back, right?  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Two weeks later, just as you were getting ready for bed, your phone rang.

“Hello? You asked tiredly.

“Four million won for a baby stroller?” the deep voice on the other side of the line bit out.

“Seung Hyun-ah?!?” you asked in disbelief. You hadn’t heard his voice in so long and it felt like all the air had left your lungs at once. “How…?” you started to ask, but he cut you off.

“I told them I had a family emergency, which I have.” he said tersely.”Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

“No, I would’ve told you myself in my next letter. But I promise that I’ll put some of the money back…”you tried to say.

He interrupted again. “You think this is about the money?” he asked incredulously.

“Well, I had to go ahead and order it.” you explained in a rush. “I’ve only got five months left at the most and it’s coming all the way from England!” you gushed excitedly.

“Five months?” he asked breathlessly.

You kept on talking like you hadn’t even heard him. “It’ll be so perfect, just you wait and see. She will look beautiful in it, I promise!”

“She?” he asked quietly, and you thought you heard him sniffle.

“Seung Hyun-ah…” you gasped. “Are you crying?”

You heard him take a deep, jagged breath on the other end of the line. “I just did the math, _______-ah. And even if the multiple protections we took failed, there’s no way that baby is mine.” he growled.

“Wait…. what do you mean? Of course it’s not yours!” you said, thoroughly confused.

“Don’t fuck with me, ________ -ah!” you inhaled sharply as Seung Hyun cursed at you. “Who’s the father?”

“I don’t know who the father is!” you yelled at him, suddenly fighting back tears.

“What the hell do you mean, you don’t know? How can you not know?” he yelled back.

“Because, it’s none of my business who your sister has sex with!” you screamed as you began to cry.

There was a long pause. “What…?”

It finally dawned on you what he had been thinking when he had called. “It’s Hye Yoon’s baby…” you whispered, still crying. “Not mine.”

“Hye Yoon is pregnant?” you could hear the confusion in his voice.

“Yes, you idiot. You’re going to have a beautiful little niece in about 5 months.” you sniffed as you dried your tears on the sleeve of your pajamas. “I can’t believe she hasn’t told you!”

“Aish…” you heard him exhale. “I’m sorry, ________ -ah. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that. I just… I saw what you bought on the credit card statement and I couldn’t think straight.”

“Obviously.” you snorted. “I’m sorry about the cost, Seung Hyun-ah. I’ve just really, really wanted one ever since I became a Nanny.”

“You don’t have to explain, jagiya.” he said soothingly. “I understand. And don’t worry about the money. I’ll extend your credit line to 20 million won. Get whatever you need. Only the best for my girls.”

You started to protest, but before you could you heard a muffled sound in the background on his end.

“I’ve got to go. I’ll see you soon.” he said and then he was gone.

You sat there staring at the phone in your hand for a good 15 minutes before it dawned on you that he had called you jagiya. You felt yourself smile despite the fact that he had just put you through an emotional roller coaster. You reached a hand up and grabbed your locket as you settled down to sleep, saying a prayer for Seung Hyun’s protection as you had each and every night since he had left.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________-

When the pram finally arrived four months later, it came with three extra boxes. You now had two sets of bedding for it, one in pink the other one white, and both of them beautifully embroidered with the name “Choi” in silver thread surrounded by vines, hearts and flowers. Not to mention, every single accessory for the pram that the company made.

From behind you, you heard Seungri whistle loudly. “Woah… all this must have set hyung back a pretty penny.”

You stared at the extra boxes in disbelief. As far as you knew, custom embroidery hadn’t even been an option. “I didn’t order all this… just the pram.”

“Um, ________-ah?” Daesung cleared his throat from his place on the floor amidst all the boxes.

“Yeah?” you said as you turned to look at him.

“I think this might explain.” he was waving what looked like a packing slip at you.

You took it from him and read the neatly typed words, **“I’m sorry I ever doubted you. Hopefully this begins to make up for my being an idiot. - Seung Hyun”** you felt yourself begin to tear up.

“Okay, Okay… stop your waterworks and let’s get started!” Seungri complained. “Or else we will never get this thing put together before she gets here. Just how many parts does this 'pram’ thing have anyway?” he teased as he thumbed through the massive instruction manual.

You sat down on the floor with them and began to help sort the parts of the pram out so you could assemble it. “Thanks for giving up your Saturday to help me with this, you guys.” you told them. “It means a lot.”

Daesung flashed you his beautiful smile. “Of course, ________-ah! What else are honorary siblings for?”

“I still expect cookies when we’ve finished!” Seungri whined. Daesung grabbed the manual from him and smacked him on the back of the head with it, which made you laugh.

“I baked some yesterday, just for you.” you told the maknae with a wink.

Three hours and a lot of frustration later, you took a selca of the three of you grinning proudly, posing with the finished pram so you could send it to Seung Hyun with his next care package.


	10. A New Baby & Homecomings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Fluffiness! (finally)
> 
> Author’s Note: At almost 3,000 words, this is one of my longest chapters. Can ya’ll tell that I’m excited to write lots of Seung Hyun again? :) And yes I did name the baby after my favorite character in IRIS. Deal with it. lol 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

Almost exactly 3 weeks after you’d assembled the pram, Seung Hyun’s sister went into labor.

You had been in the middle of playing a racing game with Daesung and Seungri when your cell phone had started ringing. You cried out in frustration because you were finally managing to win, but you recognized that it was the ringtone you’d set for Hye Yoon & you knew you had to answer.

“Hello?” you asked.

“Hello, ________-ah.” Seung Hyun’s mother said.

“Oh, good evening ma'am.” you said as you motioned wildly for the guys to stop playing & be quiet. “What can I do for you?”

“Hye Yoon has gone into labor and I need you to come to the hospital to look after Yeon Jun.” she explained.

“Of course!” you tried to contain your excitement. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” you told her before hanging up.

“Boys, this has been fun… but I’ve got to go.” you said as you stood up from the sofa.

“What? Why?” Seungri whined.

“Hye Yoon’s in labor. I have to go to the hospital, goofball!” you yelled over your shoulder as you raced down the hallway so you could go upstairs to change.

You didn’t think that you’d ever managed to change into your formal uniform so fast, but you’d done it in record time. When you bounded back down the stairs, you were surprised to see both men still sitting on the couch, the game paused, just as you’d left them. It was like they were in some sort of trance.

You waved a hand in front of their face. “Hello? Earth to brothers!”

That seemed to snap them out of their stupor.

“Are you coming to the hospital with me or staying here? I called for a car when I got upstairs, so it should be here soon.” you said.

“Do you think it would be okay if we went?” Daesung asked.

“Sure! The more hands I have to help with Yeon Jun the better.” you told him.

“Here.” you shoved your camera bag into Seungri’s hands. “Don’t drop this.”

“What am I, your pack animal?’ he asked incredulously.

“I have to take lots of pictures for Seung Hyun!” was you only answer, tossed over your shoulder as you ran to the entryway to put on your shoes.

Many hours later, Hye Yoon had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. You had felt so privileged to be there as Yeon Jun saw his baby sister & you helped him hold her for the first time. Hundreds of pictures were taken so that Seung Hyun had a record of the entire experience. Daesung and Seungri had even taken some for you while you were busy doing your job.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________

One month after that and you were rushing around the villa getting things ready for Seung Hyun’s coming home party. Luckily, you had the help of your brothers because you didn’t know any of the people that were attending. Hye Yoon had handled the guest list while you and Seung Hyun’s mother had agreed to make the food.

You spotted Hye Yoon walking toward you quickly, baby in her arms and phone pressed to her ear.

“They’re almost here!” she whispered to you excitedly. Seung Hyun’s mother had gone to pick him up and was supposed to call ahead to give you some warning before they arrived.

“Perfect.” you told her as she handed you the baby. “I’ll just take Seon Hwa to the playroom.”

On your way there, you found Yeon Jun.

“Now remember Rabbit, just like we practiced.” you gave him a wink.

“Don’t worry, Nanny. I’ve got it!” he told you proudly in English.

Minutes later, the front door of the villa opened. When Seung Hyun stepped foot in the living room, he got the shock of his life when everyone yelled out.

“Surprise!” they all cheered.

Seung Hyun just stood there in complete and utter shock, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. He was startled to see Yeon Jun walking toward him, looking much more grown up than the little boy he’d left behind.

Yeon Jun bowed before extending his hand for his uncle to shake. “Hello, Uncle.” he said in perfect English. “Welcome home.”

Seung Hyun gripped the boy’s hand tightly and pulled him into a hug.

“I see your lessons have paid off.” he whispered into Yeon Jun’s ear. “Where is your Nanny so I can thank her properly?”

“She’s in the playroom.” the boy explained. “The baby doesn’t like loud noises.”

After saying a brief hello to his guests, Seung Hyun slipped away when most of them seemed preoccupied with the food and drinks.

He walked briskly down the hallway towards the playroom. About halfway down the hall, when the sounds of the party started to fade behind him, he faintly heard something that put an instant smile on his face. When he reached the playroom he simply stood there, leaned up against the door frame and took in the sight before him.

You were sitting in a rocking chair that was tucked into one corner of the room, holding a bundle of pink blankets and singing softly. He watched as you rocked steadily back and forth, gently bouncing the baby in your arms, attempting to lure her into sleep.

Standing there, Seung Hyun was suddenly sure of two things: One, he desperately wanted to have children of his own. And, two… he wanted you to be their mother. He finally pushed himself off the doorway and entered the room & as he did so, you looked up. The look on your face as you saw him for the first time in seven months was enough to feed him for a week.

With a warm smile you stood up and met him halfway, in the middle of the room. Both of you were oblivious to the fact that Seung Hyun’s mother and Hye Yoon were now in the doorway watching your interaction.

“Someone’s been waiting to meet you.” you smiled at Seung Hyun. “Seon Hwa… say hello to your uncle.” you said softly as you passed the baby into his arms.

He smiled down at his niece as he carefully adjusted her in his arms. “She’s beautiful.” he whispered in awe.

“Hmmm… that she is. I’m beginning to believe that there’s some sort of magic in the Choi genes or something.” you joked lightly.

He chuckled quietly. “Maybe…” he said as he looked over at you.

Between the surprise party, seeing his new niece for the first time and being able to be next to you once again, Seung Hyun felt so happy and full of love that he was sure that it was shining out of him in bright rays like sunlight. Little did he know… it practically was.

Seung Hyun’s mother nudged her daughter and nodded her head at the two of you.

“How long has that been going on?” she asked with a small smile on her face.

“Um… well…” Hye Yoon stammered in surprise. “About three years now.”

“Really?” Seung Hyun’s mother seemed pleasantly surprised.

“You don’t object?” Hye Yoon asked in shock.

“To her? How could I? Just look at him… how happy he is. _________-ah is obviously good for him.” she said with a smile.

“And you don’t mind that she’s not…” Hye Yoon started to ask.

“Korean?” Seung Hyun’s mother interrupted. 

Hye Yoon nodded.

“I won’t lie… I’m slightly disappointed.” she said with a sigh. “She has many other positive qualities, so I’m willing to overlook it. But don’t tell your brother I said that. I look forward to making him squirm a bit for keeping it from me for so long.”

About that time, Yeon Jun wiggled in between them and the motion caught your attention, causing you to tear your gaze away from Seung Hyun. You felt your eyes widen as you saw his mother and sister. _' Just how long have they been standing there?'_ you wondered.

When the boy made it over to where you were, you just looked at him expectantly with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh… oops.” he said sheepishly. Then he turned back around and bowed to his mom & grandmother. “Sorry. Excuse me, please.”

“Much better, Rabbit.” you said in approval before pulling him into a hug.

“See?” Seung Hyun’s mother whispered to Hye Yoon. “Positive qualities.”

Hye Yoon just laughed and both women crossed into the room so they could come and coo over the baby sleeping peacefully in her uncle’s arms.

You quietly slipped out of the room, feeling slightly out of place during the little family reunion that was going on. You figured you could at least be useful and make sure that the food and things were refreshed for the party guests.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________-  
When the group finally emerged from the playroom and came back into the living room to join the party once again, Seung Hyun’s eyes instantly sought you out. He found you flitting between the guests, making sure that they were all having a good time and that their drinks were topped off.

He smiled as he watched you play the perfect hostess and walked over to make himself a plate, his mother following close behind him.

“All this looks delicious.” he said with a smile. “Did you make it, Omma?” he asked, filling his plate with food.

“Some of it. __________-ah did most of the cooking though.” she said.

Seung Hyun looked at her in surprise. “Really?” the he turned and looked back over the buffet table. “But… most of this is Korean food.” he said in confusion.

“Hmmm… imagine that.” his mother said with a grin as she walked away.

A couple hours later and Seung Hyun was saying goodbye to the lingering guests as you were finishing the clean up. When the last of the people walked out the front door, he closed and locked it behind them & leaned up against it with a sigh.

The coming home party had been a nice surprise, but he had been starting to feel overwhelmed and overstimulated. Right now, he was incredibly happy that it was only you and him left in the villa. Seung Hyun pushed off the door and began to walk around, searching you out.

He found you in the kitchen, packing up leftover food so you could put it in the refrigerator. Walking over to where you were, he leaned over your back and snitched a bit of kimchi from the bowl on the counter.

“Get out of that!” you said as you playfully smacked his hand when he reached out to take another bit.

“But it’s so good!” he whined while he chewed the first bit he’d stolen.

“Thank you.” you said with a blush as you continued packing food into plastic containers.

Seung Hyun grabbed your shoulders and turned you so that you faced him, pinning you between his lean frame and the kitchen counter.

“You made the kimchi?” he said in disbelief.

You just nodded. “It was my first batch without any help.” you said proudly.

“Help?” he asked, intrigued.

“Yeah, um… I…” you stammered, feeling a bit embarrassed. You sighed heavily before continuing. “Your mom and Hye Yoon have spent two nights a week for the past six months teaching me to cook.” you said quickly before turning back around & busying yourself with the leftovers again.

You felt him slide his arms around your waist, holding you loosely & leaning his head down to place his chin on your shoulder.

“Your idea or theirs?” he asked.

“Mine.” you said.

“For me?” he wondered aloud.

“For both of us, really. But… yes, you were a big part of why I wanted to learn.” you told him, smiling.

“Thank you.” he breathed across your skin before kissing your cheek. “I don’t think anyone’s ever done anything so thoughtful for me before.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” you chuckled. “I’m still a ‘work in progress’ as your mother says.”

He laughed, making his chest rumble against your back. “I’m going to go take a shower. Okay, gognju-nim?” he said as he reluctantly let you go.

“Okay. I’ll just put the rest of this away & then I’ll come up.” you told him as he backed out the kitchen door.

Once he was gone, you gave yourself a count of ten before you began to really hurry in your task of putting the food away. You had a plan for how you wanted the rest of the night to go & in order for it to work, you had to make it upstairs before Seung Hyun made it out of his shower.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________

Luckily for you, Seung Hyun took his time & by the time you heard the water turn off, you had everything ready.

He stepped into the bedroom, one fluffy white towel wrapped around his hips as he dried his hair with another. You swallowed hard and bit your bottom lip as your eyes roamed over his body. Even though he had lost weight over the past 21 months, he was as beautiful as ever and you thought that you would never get over the awe of being privileged enough to see him like this.

You watched as he looked around the room, taking in what you had done with some surprise. Other than the lamp in the corner, the only light in the room was from the many, many lit candles that you had placed everywhere. The bed was invitingly turned down, ready for sleep and soothing music was playing softly.

When he finally looked at you, a grin spread across his face. Just like you had back in Germany, you were wearing only one of his white button up shirts with the sleeves rolled up to your elbows. Seung Hyun tossed the towel that he’d been using to dry his hair onto the foot of the bed & crossed the room to stand in front of you.

“What’s all this?” he asked softly, a touch of amusement evident in his voice.

“I thought tonight might have been a bit much for you.” you explained. “I wanted to help you relax.”

He smiled wide as he realized just how well you knew him. “That’s thoughtful of you.” he said as he slid his arms around your waist. “But… as much as I’d like to, because God knows you look beautiful in my shirt like that, I’m really tired & I’m not sure that I’m up for much of anything tonight.” he said quietly.

You smiled then leaned up and sweetly kissed him. “You just leave that to me. Now, go lay down.” you nudged him toward the bed.

He did as he was told and you followed him, reaching over to the bedside table to grab a small bottle before sitting down on the bed and gathering one of his feet into your lap. Seung Hyun watched as you squirted a tiny bit of liquid from the bottle onto your hands, rubbing them together before beginning to massage the instep of his foot.

He couldn’t help the groan of pleasure that escaped him and you smiled in satisfaction.

“Mmmmm… I think he likes that.” you murmured. He only nodded and watched, mesmerized as you massaged his foot. After months and months of wearing nothing but combat boots, his poor feet deserved it.

When you felt like you had spent enough time on one foot, you got yourself a little more oil from the bottle and switched to the other one.

“This feels heavenly.” he sighed, his eyes closed. “Thank you, jagiya.”

“You’re welcome. But I’m not done yet.” you replied coyly.

After spending an equal amount of time with the second foot, you ordered him to roll over. You knelt up on the bed and began massaging the back of his calves, earning you another rumbling moan from Seung Hyun.

You hummed along quietly with the music as you rubbed your way up his legs slowly, making sure to work over his muscles thoroughly. Once you made it to the top of his thighs, he squirmed and laughed.

“Sorry…” he mumbled into the pillow. “It tickles.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for later.” you laughed & swung your leg over him, settling down to sit across his backside so you could reach his lower back. After getting some more oil from the bottle, you continued the ministrations of your fingers.

Seung Hyun let out a long, relaxed sigh of contentment. He thought about how he had received plenty of massages before, mostly from professionals, and while they might have had better technique, what you were currently doing to him was a thousand more times relaxing. He realized that he had never gotten a massage from a lover before and it added something to the experience.

When you felt like you had rubbed all the tension from his lower back you scooted forward a bit so you could reach the middle and up to his shoulders. And that was when you really started to find knots in his muscles.

“Geez…” you muttered as you started to gently work at one shoulder.

It took you a while, but you finally managed to get all the knots and tenseness out of his upper back. Shaking out your tired, aching hands, you looked down and realized that Seung Hyun had fallen fast asleep.

Chuckling to yourself because your plan had succeeded, you carefully climbed off him. Then you tucked the covers up around his sleeping form before blowing out all the candles and slipping into the bed next to him.


	11. Meet the Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: *Mentions of death* and *racism*
> 
> Author’s Note: Okay, yeah… the controversial stuff, I’ll discuss at the end, so as not to give anything away. But I would like to say that from the very first time I heard the song I used in this chapter (while watching “Coffee Prince”) I knew that I would give a small fortune to the charity of Tabi’s choice just to hear him sing it. <3
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.
> 
> Suggested Listening: Neoreul Saranghae ~ Han Dong Joon

The next morning, Seung Hyun awoke feeling more refreshed than he had in what felt like forever. He yawned and carefully stretched his slightly sore muscles. It was the good kind of sore though, the kind that comes when they finally relax after being tense for entirely too long. 

Looking beside him, he could see that you were still asleep, laying on your stomach and facing him. Waking up with someone else in his bed was still a surreal experience for him, even though you’d slept in his bed during each of his week long furloughs from the military.

He pulled the covers down slowly, surprised to find that you were naked underneath. Then he realized that he was as well. The towel that had been around his hips had apparently worked loose sometime during the night. That was another strange sensation for him, as he always slept in pajamas. You were changing so many things about the perception of how his world should be and he found that he didn’t mind it one bit. In fact, he thought it was rather liberating.

With a sly smile on his face, he slid the sheets down until they were low on your hips, exposing the long expanse of your back to him. His fingers were practically itching to touch you. Never being someone to deny himself something that he wanted, he reached out and gently ran his hand over your back. He started at your shoulders with his fingertips & as he slid down your spine he lowered his hand until his palm touched your warm skin… then he repeated the process on the way back up.

After his fourth pass, your eyelids finally fluttered open and you smiled warmly.

“Morning…” you mumbled.

“Good morning, gongju-nim.” he replied, his hand never ceased in traveling it’s path. “Sleep well?”

“Mmmmm… best sleep in seven months.” you said as you rolled over.

Seung Hyun pouted a bit as you moved, but once you were on your back he reached over and gathered you into his chest. He smiled at the way you perfectly fit against him, as if you were made to be there. You wrapped your arms around him and snuggled into his side.

“_________-ah?” he asked.

“Hmmmmm?” you hummed in response.

“We’ve technically been together almost three years now.” he said. “I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time that I met your family.”

He felt you stiffen next to him before you sat up slowly. You said nothing as you reached down to the foot of the bed and picked up his shirt that you’d been wearing the night before.

“That’s not a conversation I’m prepared to have before coffee.” you said quietly as you slipped your arms into the sleeves and began buttoning it up.

Seung Hyun sensed the shift in your mood & not wanting to push the subject, he simply nodded.

“Okay.” he said softly. “I’ll go get it started and you can come down when you’re ready.” he reached out and took one of your hands in his, giving it a gentle squeeze before leaving the bed.

Once Seung Hyun had slipped into some pajamas and gone into his bathroom, you’d heaved a huge sigh as you got out of his bed. You walked the short distance across the hall to your room & into your bathroom. After the normal bathroom routine, you washed your face and fixed your hair from where it had been tousled from sleep.

As you brushed your teeth, your thoughts raced. You knew this conversation was going to happen eventually, it just wasn’t something that you were looking forward to. It wasn’t that you didn’t think Seung Hyun would understand… you knew he would. It was just unpleasant and you didn’t like to think about it if you didn’t have to.  
___________________________________________________________________________  
Deciding to stay in Seung Hyun’s shirt, you slipped on a pair of shorts under it and made your way downstairs & toward the comforting scent of coffee. As you expected, he was already sitting at the kitchen table and your cup was waiting for you, prepared just the way you like it. Despite the feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach, that small gesture from him was enough to fill you with warmth.

You sat down and took a few sips of coffee before you began.

“There’s no easy way to say this… so I’ll just come right out with it.” you sighed. “My parents are dead.”

You saw his eyebrows climb in shock, but he was too stunned to speak. So, you went ahead and answered the next question that most people asked after a declaration like that.

“They died while I was home during summer break in between my two years at the nanny school.” you explained calmly before taking another drink to steady yourself. “Another driver fell asleep at the wheel, crossed the center line and hit their car head on. All three of them died instantly.”

“_________-ah….” he whispered as he reached out and took your now shaking hands in his. “I’m sorry… I had no idea.”

“I know.” you gave him a watery smile. “You were only trying to do the right thing… to be a gentleman, and I want you to know that I really appreciate it.”

“Do you have any other close family?” he asked. He hated the thought of the possibility that you had been left all alone in the world until the time you’d met him.

“Technically, I have a sister.” you said, your voice uncharacteristically cold.

“Technically?” he questioned.

You sighed again. “We were never really close… but after our parents died, she didn’t take it very well and ended up falling in with a bad crowd. The man that she’s married to is incredibly racist and managed to twist her to his way of thinking. The last time I spoke to her was my graduation, where she had some very unkind things to say about my choice of South Korea being the country I specialized in.”

Seung Hyun cleared his throat before speaking. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you choose South Korea?”

You smiled a real smile this time & he was glad that his tactic of distracting you from the upsetting thoughts of your past was working.

“Well, after our first month or so of instruction, each of us was paired with an older student. Think of it as a mentor of sorts. One of the things that mentor was supposed to help us do was choose a country of focus. Most of the girls choose somewhere in Europe, because it’s easier. But my mentor was much smarter and urged me toward South Korea, which is what she had chosen as well. There’s a lower probability of immediately getting hired for a job here, but the benefits are amazing.” you stopped and gave him a cheeky wink before continuing.

“After I looked into the culture and daily life here, I fell in love with it & the rest is history. Learning an entirely different language was difficult, but I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge.” you said with a smile.

“Thank goodness for small mercies.” Seung Hyun chuckled.

“If it… if it really means that much to you, Seung Hyun-ah, I’ll try and call my sister. But I don’t think it will go well, so don’t get your hopes up.” you told him seriously.

“I will leave that up to you, ________-ah.” he said. “I won’t push either way, but you should know that all of this will come up again when we tell my mother.”

“I know.” you said as you nodded.

The two of you drank your coffee in relative silence after that & after a quick breakfast, Seung Hyun had gone upstairs & into his office.  
_____________________________________________________________________________

You paced the living room nervously as you held the phone to your ear, listening to it ring. Part of you hoped that she wouldn’t even pick up, that way you could at least say you tried. But your hopes were shattered when she finally answered after the 5th ring.

“Hello?” she asked suspiciously. “Who is this? I don’t recognize this number.”

“Relax.” you said irritably. “It’s me.”

“____________? Oh God, is everything okay?” she asked, surprised that you would be contacting her after all this time, especially after the last time you’d seen each other.

“Yeah, everything is fine. Great actually. That’s um… kinda why I called.” you told her as you sat down on the sofa.

“Okay… what’s up then?” your sister wondered.

“I wanted to let you know…” you swallowed thickly. “I, uh… I’ve met someone.”

“Oh wow!” she gasped, obviously surprised. “You managed to find someone normal in the middle of all those…”

“He’s a native.” you cut her off angrily.

“You… you…” she spluttered. “You mean he’s…?”

“Yes. He’s Korean.” you said, your voice laced with exasperation. This is exactly what you feared would happen.

“Really, ___________?” she screeched. “It’s not enough that you learned their language and moved there, now you have to go and fuck one of them too?”

“I will not have you disrespecting my relationship with Seung Hyun that way!” you yelled. “The only reason I’m calling you is because he wanted to do things properly and meet my family.”

She scoffed. “I don’t want to meet some…”

“____________, I am warning you. Don’t even think of calling him by some sort of horrible slur!” you bit out angrily.

“Why not?” she bit back. “That’s what he is!”

“I told him that this wouldn’t work…” you sighed, speaking your innermost thoughts aloud unintentionally.

“Look, _________. If this is what you want to do with your life, fine. Just don’t expect me to be a part of it. Don’t contact me again unless you come to your senses.” she said angrily and then the line went dead as she abruptly hung up on you.

Tears slipped unbidden down your cheeks as you lowered the phone from your ear and tossed it onto the coffee table.

Damn it… I knew this would happen. You thought to yourself angrily as you rubbed at your stinging eyes..

Spying the sideboard across the room where you knew Seung Hyun kept the alcohol, you decided that a stiff drink was in order.

What you didn’t know was that all your yelling during the conversation with your sister had attracted Seung Hyun’s attention. He made it downstairs and into the living room just in time to see you down a good two fingers of clear alcohol from the highball glass you’d chosen.

When you began to pour more liquid into the glass, he rushed forward to stop you.

“Woah… woah there, jagi.” he said as he gently took the bottle from your slightly shaking hands and set it back down. “You might want to take it easy with that. It’s the good stuff.”

You said nothing, just turned to him and leaned into his comforting presence while you continued to cry softly.

Wrapping his arms around you, Seung Hyun mentally kicked himself for setting all this into motion. It hadn’t been his intention to cause you any pain, he had just seen it as the natural progression of things. He had only been planning to meet your family and obtain their blessing before approaching his mother, thinking that it might make things easier. Instead, it had only made things infinitely worse.

Suddenly, he got an idea & bent down to sweep you up into his arms. You were still silent, burying your face into the crook of his neck as he gently carried you upstairs and into his bedroom. He set you down on the bed, disappeared into the bathroom and pretty soon you heard water running.

Coming back into the bedroom, he took your hand and led you into the bathroom where he proceeded to tenderly strip both of you bare. Then he stepped into the tub and motioned for you to get in as well. Soon you were both settled into the bath, your back to Seung Hyun’s front as he held you tightly in the fragrant, steaming water.

After a while, he began to gently bathe you, trailing soft kisses across your skin after he’d rinsed it clean. The only difference from when you had done the same for him was he didn’t wash your hair. He knew that most women were particular about their hair & didn’t want to risk it.

After drying you off and dressing you in another one of this shirts, light blue this time, he had tucked both of you back into bed… despite the fact that it was just early afternoon.

Laying there cradled in his arms you felt so loved and safe that you instantly began to relax. Then, just when you thought he couldn’t surprise you any further, Seung Hyun began to sing softly, but clearly.

_아침이 오는 소리 문득 잠에서 깨어  
achimi oneun sori mundeuk jameseo kkaeeo  
Waking up by sounds that morning comes_

_내 품안에 잠든 너에게  
nae pumane jamdeun neoege  
to you who fell asleep in my arms_

_워우우 워우워어  
wouu wouwoeo  
Wowooo Wowo_

_너를 사랑해  
neoreul saranghae  
I love you…_

After the initial shock of just how well he could sing wore off, you found his voice incredibly soothing & as he continued his song it easily lulled you into sleep.  
________________________________________________________________________________

You awoke a few hours later to Seung Hyun’s gentle shakes of your shoulder.

“Come on, ________-ah. Wake up…” he said softly.

You opened your eyes to find him kneeling down beside the bed, still in his pajamas.

“There you are.” he said with a smile. “Come on, you need to eat something.” he stood up and held his hand out to you so he could help you up out of the bed. He held your hand all the way down the stairs and into the living room.

When you entered the room, you couldn’t help the gasp that escaped. Evidently, Seung Hyun had taken all the candles that you had used last night and moved them downstairs. There was a blanket spread out on the floor in front of the big picture window & on it was a variety of food in plastic containers. The candles completed the scene, scattered across the floor, their flames dancing warmly.

“I hope you don’t mind leftovers.” he said sheepishly as he pulled you over to the blanket and you both sat down. “There seemed to be plenty.”

You smiled. “No… that’s fine. Thank you, Seung Hyun-ah.”

The two of you ate in silence for a little while before he ventured a timid question.

“I take it that the conversation with your sister didn’t go well?” he asked.

You shook your head and took a deep breath before answering him.

“Remember how you told me about how you made your choice between your career and your last girlfriend?” you asked him.

He nodded but said nothing.

“Well… today I made my choice.” you said quietly as you looked him in the eyes. “And I chose you, Seung Hyun-ah.”

You watched the pained expression that crossed his face. Out of everyone in the entire world, Seung Hyun was probably the only one who really understood exactly what you were going through.

Slowly, he stood up and held his hand out to you, helping you up off the floor. Once you were standing in front of him, he pulled you into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered. “You should never have had to make that choice.”

“I know.” you sighed against his chest. “But neither should you.”

He pulled back to look down at you. “For what it’s worth, I think we made the right ones.”

You smiled up at him. “So do I.”

You both stood there, amongst the candlelight, clinging to each other before you realized that you were slightly swaying… almost in a slow dance.

“Seung Hyun-ah?” you asked.

“Hmmmm?” he replied.

“Would you sing for me again?” you asked, slightly embarrassed.

He chuckled, his chest rumbling against your cheek.

“Any time, gongju-nim. Any time…” he said softly.

_아침이 오는 소리 문득 잠에서 깨어  
achimi oneun sori mundeuk jameseo kkaeeo  
Waking up by sounds that morning comes_

_내 품안에 잠든 너에게  
nae pumane jamdeun neoege  
to you who fell asleep in my arms_

_워우우 워우워어  
wouu wouwoeo  
Wowooo Wowo_

_너를 사랑해_  
neoreul saranghae  
I love you… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay… so, yeah… the family situation. Basically, I just wanted to find a way to get them out of the picture. I hope I didn’t upset/offend anyone with the way I chose to go about it. And I also hope that it doesn’t affect anyone’s ability to enjoy the story. Please forgive me! I just wanted to be lazy and focus on their relationship without having to slog through a bunch of family stuff. *sigh*


	12. Normalcy and Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: A bit... No, a LOT of fluff before the craziness of the last two chapters hits. Enjoy it while you’ve got it, folks. Chapter 13 is gonna be one rough ride. But this… this is cute. :)
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

Luckily for you both, Hye Yoon had decided to gift you with a week off from your Nanny duties. So you and Seung Hyun spent the week after his welcome home party practically cocooned together in the villa… lost in your own little world.

It really was the best thing for you both. He needed some time to recharge and reacquaint himself with regular life. It didn’t take long for you to fall back into familiar patterns. And when the week was up, things flowed smoothly back into ‘normal’ life.

Your schedule was a little more hectic with a newborn to take care of, but Yeon Jun had recently started school. Therefore you only had him for a little bit in the morning and a couple hours in the afternoon when you helped him with his homework. You honestly missed having him around all day, even though Seon Hwa was more than enough to keep you occupied.

Once the kids were gone for the day, you would usually make something for dinner. Occasionally you even got to eat with Seung Hyun before adjourning to the living room for the evening. Both of you occupying your spaces on the sofa, usually with your feet up in his lap.

After two years of practically nothing, this felt like your own little slice of heaven. It was comfortable, reassuring and predictable.

You had even gone back to sleeping in your own bed during most nights. You knew that Seung Hyun valued his privacy and alone time & even though you loved spending the night wrapped in his arms, you didn’t want to intrude. The few times that you did sleep in there, it had been by his express invitation.

Days flowed into weeks and weeks became months. Life was good.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________

You were currently sound asleep in your bed when a bellowing yell tore through the silence of the villa, ripping you from your dreams.

You sat straight up in bed, looking at your bedside clock to check the time even as you violently flung the covers from your body.

The glowing green numbers proclaimed that it was 2:00 in the morning and you attempted to shake the last of your grogginess loose as you scrambled from your bed, your feet hitting the cold hardwood floor.

Just as you reached your door, you heard another yell.

“No! Please… don’t… I can’t….!” the voice called out pitifully.

You wrenched your door open and ran the short distance across the hall to Seung Hyun’s room, where you had determined the noise was coming from.

Opening his door, you quickly ran into his room and assessed the situation. It didn’t take you long to realize what was happening… he was in the middle of a nightmare. And from the sounds of his whimpering, it was a pretty bad one.

On automatic pilot, you started to walk towards the bed, intent on waking him up from the dream that was so obviously hurting him. But, suddenly, something that your Dad had once told you came swimming to the surface of your sleep-addled brain.

Never shake a soldier awake, _________. He’ll come up swinging. Grab him by the foot instead. That way, you’re out of range.

You changed direction to the bottom of the bed & luckily for you, all of Seung Hyun’s thrashing meant that one of his feet was completely free of the covers. You reached out and grasped it firmly, giving it a good shake.

“Seung Hyun!” you shouted, in an attempt to wake him.

After a few more shakes of his foot, you found out for yourself that your father’s advice had been right. Seung Hyun sat up suddenly in the bed, his hands balled tightly into fists and swinging wildly.

“Seung Hyun-ah…” you said softly. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Calm down.” you were so rattled that you didn’t even realize that you’d said all that in English.

It took him a moment to separate his nightmare from reality, but your voice seemed to help & he stopped trying to lash out at a phantom foe with his fists.

“__________-ah?” he asked, his voice rough with sleep.

“Yes, it’s me.” you told him as you eased down to sit on the bed, still far away from him so as to give him some space. You could feel your heart still hammering inside your chest as you tried to come down from the adrenaline high.

You watched Seung Hyun run a hand tiredly down his face.

“What happened?” he asked you.

“Nightmare, I think.” you explained. “Do you need anything?”

He sighed heavily and scooted over in the bed, making room for you beside him.

“Stay with me?” he asked as he held the covers up for you.

You smiled as you got up and slid in next to him.

“Of course.” you said.

Instead of gathering you up into his arms as he normally did, he surprised you by shifting to lay his head down on your stomach, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. He hadn’t done that since the night that you’d given him the bath & you figured it was just something that he associated with comfort. You really didn’t mind, as it gave you the perfect opportunity to run your fingers through his silky black hair.

You stayed just like that for quite some time, both of you not saying anything & just taking comfort in the presence of each other. You’d honestly thought that Seung Hyun had fallen asleep, but then you felt him begin to lightly draw what felt like little patterns on your lower stomach.

He mumbled something that you couldn’t quite understand, as he was still turned away from you, the side of his face pressed against your middle.

“What was that?” you asked, slightly sleepy.

Seung Hyun shifted and propped himself up on one elbow on the bed so he could turn his head to face you, but his other hand continued to trace his fingers across your stomach, just below your belly button.

“I said…” he paused long enough to lock eyes with you. “… that one day I’d like to have a piece of myself in here.” he told you quietly.

Your sleepy brain failed to immediately process his somewhat cryptic words & you tilted your head to the side in confusion.

He chuckled deeply at how cute you looked, then used the fingers of his hand to draw the shirt of your pajamas up a little bit, exposing the soft skin of your stomach to him.

“I want to see your belly grow round with my child.” he said, plainly this time. Then he leaned forward to place a series of soft kisses across your tummy.

“Oh…” you gasped, part of it was because you finally caught his meaning & part of it was the feeling that his kisses elicited.

He sighed, his breath fanning hotly against the skin of your stomach. Then he sat up and moved up the bed so he could lay beside you, but his hand went back to it’s place on your stomach, rubbing slightly.

“Are you opposed to the idea?” he asked.

“No!” you answered him a little too quickly, then flushed with embarrassment when he smirked at you. “I just… that wasn’t something I was expecting you to say.”

“Watching you with Seon Hwa these past few months got me to thinking about it.” he said in way of explanation. 

“Are you sure that you’re not just trying to distract me?” you asked him.

“Distract you?” he looked at you, genuinely puzzled.

“From your nightmare.” you said. “I won’t force you to tell me about it, but I will admit that I’m curious.”

“Oh that.” he frowned. “Maybe I am trying to distract you… at least subconsciously.”

He sat up properly against the headboard and reached out, pulling you into his side. You laid your head on his chest, trying not to hum in satisfaction as one of his hands began trailing up and down your back.

“You’ll have to forgive me, gongju-nim. I’m so used to compartmentalizing my feelings so that I can deal with them. I’ve been handling stuff on my own for so long that it’s hard for me to realize that I don’t have to anymore.” He tried to explain.

“Makes sense. And I won’t bother you about it, just as long as you know that I’m always here for you no matter what. If you want to talk things out or even if you just want a cuddle. I’ll always be there.” you said sleepily.

He leaned down and kissed the top of your head lovingly.

“Thank you, ________-ah. That means more to me than you could ever know.” he said, his voice quiet with emotion. “Now sleep, you sound tired.”  
___________________________________________________________________________

The next morning when you woke up, it took you a minute to orient yourself and remember the events of last night… or rather, this morning. You sat up slowly, so as not to wake Seung Hyun, who was still sleeping peacefully. Luckily it was Saturday and neither of you were in a hurry to be anywhere today.

You reached out and took one of his hands in yours, gently pulling it into your lap. Sitting there, you just traced along his long, graceful fingers with yours. You were seriously in love with this mans hands and after what he’d done with them last night…

You sighed as you remembered what he had said, that he wanted you to carry his child. Truth be told, it was something that had crossed your mind from time to time. But it wasn’t something that you thought you would discuss with Seung Hyun, at least… not yet. The two of you hadn’t even talked about marriage.

You smiled, tracing the faint scar than ran across the back of his hand, right above the web where his thumb met his hand. You had noticed it before, but you’d never been brave enough to ask how he got it. Beside you, you felt Seung Hyun start to stir from sleep, but you just kept up your close inspection and tracing of his hand.

“It’s odd…” he mumbled from behind you. “I seriously have an aversion to being touched.”

That was enough to make you stop what you were doing and drop his hand.

“Oh… sorry.” you said quietly.

“You didn’t let me finish.” he said as he sat up, hugging you to him. “I have a serious aversion to being touched… unless it’s you that’s doing the touching.”

“Oh, well… that’s different then.” you smiled. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“Feel free to wake me up like that anytime, jagiya.” he kissed you on the cheek. “What were you thinking about? You looked pretty introspective.”

“I was remembering what you said last night while you touched my stomach with those fingers.” you told him, honestly.

You felt his arms tighten around you. “I meant it.” he said seriously. “Every word.”

“I know.” you replied. “You aren’t in the habit of saying things you don’t mean.” you repeated his words from so long ago, when the two of you had struck a deal for you to become Yeon Jun’s Nanny. “And I plan on taking you up on that… someday.”

“Really?” you could hear the surprise and excitement in his voice & even though you couldn’t see his face, you knew he was smiling.

“Yes, really.” you laughed.

“Well then, I don’t suppose I could bother the future mother of my children to make me some breakfast?” he asked, digging his fingers into your sides to tickle you playfully.

“Seung Hyun-ah!” you squealed, trying to get away from him & failing miserably. “Stop! Yes, I’ll make you breakfast! Quit it! That tickles!”

“I know, gongju-nim. That’s why I did it!” he teased, leaning forward to kiss you before letting you go.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________

Forty-five minutes later, the two of you were sitting at the little kitchen table and happily eating breakfast. You were almost done when Seung Hyun had gotten up to refresh your coffee cups.

“__________-ah?” he asked as he poured.

“Yeah?” you replied, munching on a piece of toast.

“I’ve been thinking.” he said, turning to set your cups back on the table before sitting down again. “I want to ask you something.” he reached across the table to take your hands in his.

You swallowed the bite of toast you’d been chewing. “Okay…”

Oh, please don’t let him be proposing…. you thought, fervently. Please… not like this, I want something really romantic. Not over the breakfast table while we’re both still in our pajamas!

Your mind raced. A few days ago, you wouldn’t even be having those sort of thoughts, but after what he had said this morning… you weren’t sure what was about to come out of his mouth.

Seung Hyun took a deep breath and squeezed your hands. “I want you to move in with me.” he said with a wide grin.

You felt yourself blow out a breath you hadn’t even known you were holding. “Um… I hate to point out the obvious to you, jagi.” you said in confusion. “But, I kind of already did.”

He chuckled. “I meant move into my room, you silly woman.”

“Oh…” you said in honest surprise. “Not that I don’t love that idea, but… are you sure?”

He just shrugged. “I sleep better with you there. And I absolutely love waking up to you in the morning.” he said as he winked at you.

“I think I’d like that then.” you said with a smile.

“So, that’s a yes?” he asked, cutely.

“Yes, Seung Hyun-ah!” you said, being playfully over-dramatic. “I’d love to move in with you.”

“Excellent!” he exclaimed, returning your playfulness ten-fold. “We can start moving in your things today.” he leaned over and placed gentle kisses to the back of your hands. “And then tonight…” he gave you a wicked smirk. “We can celebrate…”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was just before lunch, while the two of you actually were moving your things into Seung Hyun’s room when his phone suddenly rang. He answered it as he walked out of the room and toward his office, so you figured it must be work.

He returned a few minutes later.

“Hey… um, ________-ah? Don’t kill me, but…” he started to say.

“I know… you have to go in to work.” you said as you smiled at him. You walked over to where he was in the doorway and wrapped your arms around him tightly. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. Just call me if you’re going to make it for dinner okay?”

He pulled back from you a bit so he could lean down and kiss you.

“You are… without a doubt… the best girlfriend… ever.” he said in between kisses.

“I know.” you smirked against his lips & playfully pushed him away from you. “Now get going… the sooner you get done the sooner you can come home.”

Seung Hyun laughed as he walked down the hall. “I love you!” he called over his shoulder as he began to walk down the stairs.

“Love you too!” you yelled back at him.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was around 3pm when the doorbell rang, startling you as you were currently curled up in the De Sede chair and reading. You set your book down on the coffee table and rushed to answer the door as the bell rang a second time.

Opening the door, you saw a woman that you didn’t recognize. She looked rather disheveled and far too thin, her long black hair hanging down in stringy pieces.

“Um, can I help you?” you asked her uncertainly.

“Yes…” she said quietly. “I believe you can.”

She took two or three rapid steps towards you, forcing you to back up into the entryway of the villa before she reached behind her and shut the front door.

“Who are you and what are you doing in my oppa’s house?” she asked menacingly.

You were so unsettled by her odd behavior that you failed to notice the long, sharp, pointy object that she held in one of her hands.


	13. Sasaeng

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: This chapter contains a whole host of potential triggers: knives, handcuffs/rope/restraint, hostage situation, being threatened/cut with a knife, physical violence/assault, blood, being cut by glass. *Reader discretion is strongly advised!*
> 
> Author’s Note: I won’t lie, this wasn’t the easiest thing to write. But I’m still pleased with the end result. 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

_“Who are you and what are you doing in my oppa’s house?” she asked menacingly._

_You were so unsettled by her odd behavior that you failed to notice the long, sharp, pointy object that she held in one of her hands._

“What do you mean…” you started to ask.

That was when she brought the knife up so you could see it plainly & you felt yourself inhale sharply in surprise. Even though you were no expert on knives, you thought that it looked like something that would be used for hunting; one side with a straight edge & the other jagged.

All you knew was that it was currently pointed at your face & you went with your first instinct, which was to put both of your hands up as a sign of surrender.

“Where… is… my…oppa?” she bit out, her words coming in precise, sharp pants; each one punctuated by her taking a step forward & driving you back into the living room.

“You mean Seung Hyun?” you asked, your voice shaking.

She just nodded.

“He’s… uh… not here. He had to go in to work.” you told her honestly.

“Liar!” she lunged at you & you just barely managed to avoid the knife by stepping to the side.

“I’m not! I’m not… I swear!” you tried to explain, hastily.

She seemed to calm down a bit then, you noticed. Her moods were swinging all over the place. One minute she was menacing and frantic & the next she seemed calm and collected.

“We will see about that.” she said quietly. Looking past you & into the dining room, she seemed to spot something that pleased her.

“Walk.” was all she said as she once again waved her weapon at you.

You swallowed heavily and began walking backwards, your hands still up.

“How did you…?” you began to ask before she interrupted.

“Get past the guards?” she eerily finished your question for you.

You nodded, continuing to back up.

“I’ve been watching this place for weeks.” she whispered, her voice raspy. “At precisely 3 pm they switch shifts and for roughly 5 minutes they are too preoccupied with paperwork to properly watch the house. I knew that was my window of opportunity.”

By this time you were in the dining room and she reached around you to pull out a chair.

“Sit.” she commanded.

Even though your brain was screaming at you that it was a bad idea, you hastened to comply with her demand. You didn’t see that you had much choice, seeing as how she was the one with the weapon and you had nothing to defend yourself with.

You tried thinking back to those self defense classes that your mother had insisted you take before going off to college. But the only thing you could remember that the instructor had said about knife fights was that you had to accept the fact that you were going to get cut… it was just a matter of you deciding where or them deciding. And that particular thought didn’t exactly bring you much hope.

You watched helplessly as she slung a small backpack from her shoulder and began taking things out of it. The next thing you knew, she had two sets of handcuffs and used them to bound your wrists tightly to the rungs of the chair. Then she took another chair out from under the table, slung it around so that the back faced you and straddled it, leaning her arms across the back.

“Now…” she said, still waving the knife at you. “You and I are going to have a little talk.”

“Okay…” was all you could think to say.

“I’ll ask you again, who are you and what are you doing in my oppa’s house?” she asked.

“I… I’m just the nanny.” you lied.

“Hmmmm…” she mused. “Yes, I seem to remember reading that somewhere a couple years back… that he had hired a foreign nanny for Yeon Jun.”

Evidently your shock at her knowing the boy’s name showed on your face because she smirked at you before continuing.

“Oh yes, I know all about my oppa’s life.” she grinned smugly. “More than you’ll ever know.”

_'I highly doubt that.'_ You thought, but you were wise enough to keep your mouth shut. You watched as she reached around behind her and apparently dug around in the back pocket of her jeans before coming up with a folded piece of paper.

She carefully unfolded it and then thrust it out in your direction so you could see what it was. It looked like a newspaper clipping of some sort, in it there was a black and white photo of Seung Hyun, yourself and all four of your ‘brothers’. You were all laughing, the happy smiles seeming to mock you in your current situation.

“I need you to explain this.” she said, her tone of voice implying that she was obviously not happy about the picture.

“Um….” you squinted at it to get a better look. “That was… that looks like it was taken at Seung Hyun’s welcome home party when he got back from the military.” you told her.

“I know that!” she yelled, irritated with your answer. “What I need you to explain is this!” she used the knife to point to a particular spot in the photo.

You tried to look at it closer, but since you were currently handcuffed to the chair, it was rather difficult. You thought you finally managed to see what she was referring to though… Seung Hyun had his hand placed casually on your lower back.

“I don’t…” you started to say.

“Don’t play with me, lady!” she screeched as she stood up, flinging the chair she had been sitting in to the side. You watched as the bit of newspaper fluttered forgotten onto the floor. She thrust the knife closer to you, stopping only inches from your face.

“There’s something going on here…” she gasped, breathing heavily. “… and I’m going to find out what it is!”

With that, she turned and walked out of the room, heading in the direction of the kitchen. Once she was out of sight, you immediately began to pull on your restraints. You knew it was going to scuff the wood of the chair, but Seung Hyun was just going to have to get over it.

You heard her rummaging around in the kitchen as you tried to work your way free. You were so preoccupied with your escape plan that you didn’t even hear her come back into the room.

“Tsk tsk tsk…” you heard her say.

Your head snapped up & you saw her standing there, a glass of wine in one hand and knife still in the other.

“We can’t have you getting loose, now can we?” she said calmly as she set the wine down on the table before delving back into her small pack and coming out with a length of rope.

She took her time binding your feet together and then tying them off to the bottom of the chair. Then she stood up, collected her wineglass from the table and disappeared down the hallway.

You tried to fight off tears as you once again began pulling at the handcuffs. It hurt like hell and you knew that you were bruising your wrists, possibly even bloodying them. But between the tightness of the cuffs and you struggling against them, your hands were beginning to go numb. The wood of the chair started to crack as you pulled against it & for a moment, you dared to hope that you might actually break free.

From somewhere upstairs, you heard an ear-piercing scream. Then there were footsteps bounding quickly down the stairs & before you knew it she was standing back in front of you, a murderous gleam in her eyes.

“Just the nanny, huh?” she screamed as she threw the remaining contents of her glass in your face. The action surprised you and you didn’t have time to close your eyes before the wine hit you full in the face. It stung and you blinked furiously, trying to clear your suddenly blurry vision.

You heard the glass shatter when she suddenly threw it against the wall in a fit of rage.

“If you’re just the nanny, then why is your stuff in my oppa’s room?!” she yelled.

Before you had time to recover your sight, she backhanded you so hard that blackness curled in from the outside of your vision. The blackness receded and in it’s place tiny sparks flashed. You shook your head to try and clear it, mentally preparing yourself for another blow. But before it could come, your phone started to ring.

Looking up, you saw her pause at the sound, her hand raised back in preparation to hit you again. You swallowed, tasting blood & then you recognized the ringtone that pierced the otherwise quiet air.

“That’s Seung Hyun.” you said quietly, not wanting to alarm her. Thinking fast, you added “If I don’t answer, he’s going to get worried and call the guards.”

You watched her face change from one of mania into something softer, then she ran for the living room where your phone was sitting on the coffee table. She quickly returned with it carefully cradled in the hand that wasn’t holding the knife, gazing almost lovingly down at the screen where you knew there was a picture of Seung Hyun’s face being displayed.

The phone stopped ringing for a bit, but then it began again, the same ringtone sounding loudly from it’s speakers.

“I’m going to put it on speaker so I can hear his voice.” she excitedly told you with a creepy smile. “Don’t get any ideas, okay? You just act like everything is normal…” she waved the knife at you before pressing the button and setting the phone down on the dining table.

“Hello?” you asked, your voice wavering a little.

“__________-ah?” Seung Hyun asked, his voice sounding worried. “Everything okay? You sound… odd.”

“Yeah… I’m fine.” you lied. “I was just… napping.”

“Oh… well, I wanted to call and see if it would be okay if the guys all came over for dinner tonight.” he said.

“Yeah, that will be great… oppa.” you said that last word very carefully, being sure to enunciate it so that he would hear you properly through the speakers.

You weren’t sure what you were trying to accomplish by calling him that. In your heart, you hoped he would realize that something was off. You _never_ called him oppa and he had never asked you to. But as you looked up at the crazed woman standing across from you, you noticed that all you had done was to make her even more pissed off at you than she already was.

“Oppa?” you heard him say in confusion. “Are you sure you’re alright gongju-nim?”

If you thought she was mad at you calling Seung Hyun oppa, it was nothing compared to the look of pure, unadulterated fury that crossed her face at hearing his pet name for you.

“Yes, oppa.” you stressed that word again. “Everything’s okay.” you said as cheerily as you could manage, while trying to ignore the rising growl that was coming from your attackers throat.

“Um… okay. If you’re sure…” he said warily. “I guess we will see you later then. In a couple hours or so?”

“That sounds perfect, oppa.” you said it yet again, trying desperately to make him see that something was definitely not right. Then, realizing that it might be your last chance to say it, you quickly added. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” he replied, his voice still sounding concerned.

When the line went dead, the woman holding you hostage completely lost her mind. She lunged forward with the knife and you were certain that she was going to gut you with it. But, to your surprise, she used it to cut the rope that was holding your legs to the chair. Once she had you free from that, she reached down and unclasped the handcuffs from around your wrists.

You instinctively brought your wrists up to your chest, curling into yourself as you rubbed at them, trying to get some circulation back into your hands.

“Get up.” she said, coldly and eerily calm.

You made no move to obey her & she reached out to grab hold of your arm, forcefully hauling you from the chair.

“I said get up! I refuse to kill you sitting down… it would be too easy & I want you to suffer.” she whispered that last word, almost like a caress. With that, she shoved you hard, making you stumble into the living room.

You saw this as your opportunity to possibly escape and ran for the front door. She had apparently anticipated this move & easily caught up with you, throwing her body at yours & knocking both of you to the floor.

Using her momentum, she brought herself up in a roll while you were still trying to recover from having the air forced out of your lungs by her tackle. Then she drew back her foot and slammed it into your stomach. You gasped in shock and pain, curling protectively around yourself, thinking she was going to do it again. Unfortunately… you were wrong.

Instead she dropped down on top of you, turning you over onto your back & straddling your waist. You looked up just in time to see her raise the knife that she’d been using to threaten you high above her head.

_'This is it.'_ You thought. _'She really isn’t going to stop until she kills me.'_ Then and there, you decided that you weren’t going to let her win… at least, not without a fight. Just as she began to bring the knife down you flung your hands up in defense, grabbing her wrist in your hands and stopping her halfway.

For a few moments, the two of you were locked in a battle of wills; her wanting to kill you because of your relationship with Seung Hyun & you wanting to live for exactly the same reason.

The knife kept inching closer and closer to you. Finally your exhausted arms gave out, but you managed to deflect it to the side. So instead of getting the knife full on in the face, it only grazed the top of your head… cutting a gash through your scalp.

“Fuck!” you hissed as pain lanced through your head.

“Ah, ah, ah…” she scolded you. “Oppa doesn’t like girls that curse!”

To your surprise, she got up off you then and you shot up to your feet as fast as you could, the action making you dizzy. Blood was beginning to trickle down into your face and you swiped at it angrily with your hands.

“I am getting real sick of your shit, lady.” you said angrily, advancing toward her & forcing her to back up into the living room. Looking behind her, you finally saw your golden opportunity and made your move. You rushed at her, taking her by surprise & shoved with all your might, causing her to fall backwards… straight through the glass coffee table.

Unfortunately, your momentum meant that you also fell forward on top of her, but she took the brunt of the damage, her head cracking sickeningly on the ironwork table frame. And even though your knees and legs ended up getting cut by some of the glass, you couldn’t help the yell of triumph as soon as you realized that she was out cold.

You tried to move, but realized there wasn’t really any way you could without injuring yourself further.

Luckily for you, it wasn’t long until you heard the front door open. You weren’t exactly in a position that you could look and see who it was, so you called out to them instead.

“Can I get a little help in here please?” you said as loudly as you could, still breathing heavily from your struggle.

You heard footsteps rapidly approaching. “Is everything okay, Ma'am? We just got a call from Mr. Choi…” the security guards voice trailed off as he made it into the living room.

There was the crackle of a radio. “We have an active intruder situation! I need police and an ambulance now!”

Glass crunched under his feet as he approached you from behind. “Ma'am? I’m going to reach up under your arms and lift you up, okay? I need to get you out of here.”

You just nodded, too tired to do anything else. The adrenaline from the fight was starting to wear off and you were beginning to feel a little shaky. His arms wrapped securely around you and picked you up, dragging you away from the scene. Once he had you clear of the glass and on your feet, he bent down and picked you up bridal style, carrying you to the entryway of the villa and setting you down gently in the floor so you could lean against one wall.

“How bad are your injuries?” he asked.

“Not bad, I think.” you shook your head, but that only served to make you dizzy so you stopped. “Just some glass in my knees and legs and a cut to my scalp. It looks worse than it really is.”

He nodded gravely. “There’s an ambulance on the way. You stay here and I’ll go make sure that the threat is neutralized.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I took care of that myself.” you said proudly.

It was the last thing you remembered before you passed out.


	14. At the Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

The car moved entirely too slow for his liking. Seung Hyun felt like a caged animal within it’s small confines, only he had nowhere to pace. Instead his leg jiggled up and down nervously and he glanced at his watch every thirty seconds.

“Can’t this damn thing go any faster?” he suddenly yelled, slamming his fist angrily into the door panel.

A hand slid over his arm, gently pulling it back away from the door he had just hit in frustration.

“Relax, hyung.” Daesung’s soothing voice said. “The security team said it wasn’t that bad. Remember? You’ve got to get yourself under control before we get to the hospital or you’re not going to be able to do __________-ah any good.”

Seung Hyun closed his eyes and took a deep breath, leaning his head back on the leather head rest.

“You’re right… sorry. I just…” his voice trailed off as he sat there rubbing his bruised knuckles.

“I know.” was all the other man said, gently squeezing where he still held Seung Hyun’s arm.

Somehow the two cars with the five men managed to arrive at the hospital just shortly after the ambulance that had been carring you did. Luckily for everyone involved, you had already been taken back to surgery so that they could remove all the glass shards from your knees and legs. There would have been chaos had Seung Hyun seen you passed out and covered in blood.

He was both relieved and annoyed by the sheer ammount of paperwork that had been thrust at him by the hospital staff. It served as a distraction, but it was still tedious. While he had been sorting through the papers, signing everything as quickly as he could, a second ambulance arrived.

Coupled with the heavy police presence and how quickly it had arrived following yours, it wasn’t difficult for Seung Hyun to deduce that it contained your attacker. It had taken the strength and determination of all four of his friends to hold him back and keep him from doing something stupid.

All of them had, however, used their celebrity status to force the hospital to transfer her to another facility just as soon as she was stabalized. It wasn’t something that they did often, but when they chose to throw their weight around, it had the potential to accomplish things that would be impossible for ‘ordinary’ people.

Seung Hyun had just finished speaking to the police when a doctor came into the private lounge that they’d been ushered into. When he entered the room, all five men stood up, anxious and worried looks on their faces.

“Um…” the doctor said, still looking down at his clipboard. “which one of you is…” he stopped speaking, his brow creasing. “This can’t be right… Choi Seung Hyun?”

“Yes?” Seung Hyun said eagerly.

The doctor finally looked up from his clipboard then in total shock and surprise. “Oh my God… you really are the Choi Seung Hyun!”

A low growl of irritation escaped Seung Hyun’s throat. He was honestly past his breaking point by now and he hadn’t even been able to see you since this whole ordeal had began. All he wanted was to hold you and verify for himself that you were okay.

“Yes… well, I just came in to tell you that the surgury to remove the glass from Miss ___________ was a success. Her injuries are non-life threatening… she was actually quite lucky, given the situation. She’s resting comfortably in a private room just as you requested, and you can go see her when you like. Although, you should know, that it will most likely be an hour or so before the anesthesia wears off.”

Seung Hyun’s eyes widened. “Is that normal?”

“Oh yes, completely normal.” the doctor reassured him.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________

The five men made their way through the halls of the hospital as quickly as they could without running. Once they reached your room, they all stopped out in the hallway before going in.

“Do you want to go in alone first?” Ji Yong asked quietly.

Seung Hyun thought about it for a moment before replying.

“No… I’d rather have you guys with me, if that’s okay.” he told them.

Then he felt four hands lightly touch the expanse of his broad shoulders in support.

“Of course, hyung.” he heard Seungri say from behind him.

Seung Hyun took a deep breath before turning the door handle and walking into the room, his four best friends following close behind him. For a moment, he just stood at the end of the bed, looking down at where you lay tucked tightly into the sterile-looking white sheets.

He couldn’t believe how small and fragile you looked laying there. He wasn’t able to see the cuts on your legs, but he could faintly make out the spot on your scalp where his security guard had told him you’d been cut by the sasaeng’s knife.

When he thought about what could have happened to you at the hands of that psychotic fan… his hands automatically clenched and unclenched in the need to do something. But he couldn’t do anything & he felt useless. In his mind he had failed to protect you and that thought almost killed him.

Tears began to slide down his cheeks, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Seung Hyun felt Ji Yong take hold of his arm and pull him gently towards the door.

“Come on, Seung Hyun-ah… you need to get out of here and calm down. I’m sure these three will stay here with her & come tell us when she’s awake.” he said as he gave the others a look that said he expected his orders to be obeyed.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

When you awakened, the first thing you noticed was the sharp tang of antiseptic hanging in the air. The second thing, was that someone was holding one of your hands & quietly praying out loud. You knew that voice… it belonged to none other than Young Bae.

You forced your eyes open, squinting at the sudden bright light. Glancing around at your surroundings, it didn’t take you long to come to the conclusion that you were in the hospital.

“Young Bae-ah…” you rasped, your throat feeling incredibly dry.

His head snapped up at the sound of your voice, his eyes going wide & then a smile crossing his handsome face.

“__________-ah.” he said quietly, giving your hand a squeeze. “You’re awake.”

“How long have I been out?” you asked.

The man looked down at his watch. “A little over an hour now. I’ll go get Seung Hyun-ah for you.”

“Wait!” you tightened your hold on his hand when he started to stand. “I… I don’t want to be alone.” you said, embarrassed.

“Okay, okay… I won’t go anywhere.” he said softly in an attempt to reassure you.

“Where is he?” you wondered aloud after you calmed down.

“Pretty sure Ji Yong has him somewhere trying to get him to calm down.” he explained. “Hyung’s been pretty out of it since we got here.”

You just nodded. “That’s probably for the best then.”  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ji Yong sighed in relief as Seung Hyun finally sat down on one of the chairs in the private lounge. It had taken him over half an hour just to calm the frantic man down to a reasonable point & then another 15 minutes to get him to stop pacing.

“Listen, hyung… you heard what the doctor said. It’s not life threatening and the only reason she’s been asleep this long is because of the medicine they gave her so they could get the glass out.”

Seung Hyun cringed at the mere thought of your injuries.

“It shouldn’t have happened…” he bit out, his hands clenched into tight fists. He had so much pent up rage from thinking about what you’d been through at the hands of than damn sasaeng fan.

No, it shouldn’t have. But it did. And the only thing we can do now is be there for _________-ah and help her heal.” Ji Yong told him.

“This is all my fault.” Seung Hyun said sadly.

Ji Yong’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “How in the world are the actions of a crazy fan your fault?!”

“This is all because I didn’t tell ________-ah who I am. Because I didn’t warn her that this could happen. She went into this relationship with me blindly and now she’s suffering for it!” he said angrily.

“Hyung…” Ji Yong started to say.

“No!” Seung Hyun interrupted. “I have to… end this. For her safety. I can’t risk her getting hurt again just because…”

“That’s it!” Ji Yong yelled in exasperation. “I have listened to you whine and bitch and cry for hours. Get your shit together, hyung! Your woman needs you. And I swear, if you break things off with her, I will personally kick your ass! Because that would hurt her more than any physical injury ever could.”

At that point, the door swung open and a nurse stuck her head in the room.

“Excuse me, but I thought you might like to know that she’s awake.” she told the two men with a smile.

Their argument immediately forgotten, they both made a mad dash for the door and ran down the maze of hallways until they came to your room. Seung Hyun running into the room so fast that he had to skid to a stop on the floor to keep from crashing into the bed.

“Hi there, naui wangja.” you said with a small smile. Your throat was feeling much better since Young Bae had given you a cup of water.

Ji Yong and Young Bae both shared a look of amusement at your nickname for Seung Hyun.

“I’m glad to see you awake, ________-ah.” Ji Yong said. “Come on, Young Bae… let’s see if we can find the others. Where did they go?” he asked his friend.

Young Bae gave your hand one more squeeze before standing up to follow the leader from the room. “I’m pretty sure Seungri said something about food.”

“Typical…” you heard Ji Yong laugh before the door closed behind them, leaving you alone with Seung Hyun.

He just stood there for a while without saying anything, silent tears spilling down his cheeks.

“Say something, Seung Hyun-ah. You’re scaring me.” you told him.

“I… I thought I had lost you.” he said, his voice cracking with emotion.

You scooted to the side of the hospital bed to make room for him to sit down.

“Come here…” you said quietly. When he didn’t move you added, “Please? I just… I need to feel you.”

Seung Hyun sighed & wiping the tears from his face, walked over to the bed to sit next to you. He leaned over and wrapped his arms around you as best he could & that was when you started to cry. For the first time since this whole ordeal had started you felt safe & it was then that your facade of strength broke, all your emotions tumbling over you in one big wave.

“Shhhhh, gongju-nim.” he murmured as his hand rubbed your back. “It’s okay… I’ve got you.”

It took a while for you to cry yourself out, but once you did you felt surprisingly better. After wiping your face with some tissues, blowing your nose and having some more water, you gave Seung Hyun a shaky smile.

“Sorry…” you said sheepishly.

“You have nothing to be sorry for __________-ah.” Seung Hyun said somberly.

“How… how did you know to call the guards?” you asked, suddenly curious.

“You called me oppa.” he told you, his nose wrinkled in distaste at the memory. Oppa was something that he associated with his fans and, although he loved when they used it, he had never wanted you to call him that. “You never call me oppa… and please don’t ever do it again.”

You chuckled. “I won’t. I only did it then to try and tip you off that something was wrong.”

“Well… it worked.” he said. He leaned over and kissed you on top of the head, carefully avoiding the spot where they had used liquid stitches to close the cut in your scalp.

“Um, what happened to her?” you asked, your voice shaking slightly. “Is she….”

“Dead?” he finished your question, his voice dark. “No… but she’s not here. I made them transfer her to another hospital.”

Your eyes widened. How in the world had he managed that? Just how much influence did your boyfriend have? You thought. But all you said was, “Good.”

You felt Seung Hyun sigh deeply next to you. “After we get home… and after you heal, we are going to have to have that discussion about what I do. No putting it off this time. And then you’ll need to make a decision if you still want a relationship with me.” he said.

“I already made that decision.” you snorted.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before replying. “There was a moment where I realized that she wanted to kill me because of our relationship… because of what I am to you.”

You felt his body stiffen but you continued.

“And I wanted to live… for exactly the same reason. Obviously, I wanted it more.” you told him truthfully.

Seung Hyun said nothing, just gathered you into his arms and held you like his life depended on it.


	15. It's time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Fun & fluffiness again, yay!
> 
> Author’s Note: This is it! The end of part 2! Thank you so much for reading the past 30 chapters & sticking with my story this far. Love to you all! <3 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

Early the next day, you were released from the hospital. After smuggling you through back corridors and service elevators to a dark corner of the parking garage, you both got into the car that had been waiting.

Seung Hyun surprised you by taking you to a suite in some fancy hotel instead of bringing you straight home. He had told you it was because the villa was undergoing clean up and repairs… which was true. It was also getting a brand new, state of the art, security system; one of the ones that had one way video screens at the door so you could see who was on the other side before you opened it.

What he didn’t tell you, was that he was waiting for the press and curious fans to die down. And even after a week passed, he still took you home under the cover of darkness at 3:00 in the morning. Through it all, you didn’t ask what was going on, trusting him completely to take care of you and do what needed to be done.

After another week of resting at home, you had pretty much forced Seung Hyun into letting you resume your job. To be honest, as much as you loved the man… you were going to snap if he continued to treat you as if you were fragile. You understood his concern, but the best thing for you to do was to resume your life. For you, that meant being the nanny.

You had stubbornly worn your uniform, even though there were a couple places on your legs where the cuts were still healing. The first morning, you’d had a pretty heated argument with Seung Hyun when he became upset because your wounds were showing. In the end, you’d made him see that if you changed your life because of her, that would mean that she had won… at least in your mind. And you refused to let that bitch win.

When the week had passed by successfully, your boyfriend had reluctantly agreed that you were right. It had actually helped restore his sanity for things to return to normal. It gave him strength to do what he knew needed to be done and hope that perhaps things might work out after all.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

On Friday night, it had been agreed that the guys were all coming over for dinner. And, after a fun filled dinner and dessert, Seung Hyun led you into the living room. The others followed reluctantly, an instant damper being thrown on the mood.

After all of you had sat down, he turned to you, his face serious.

“It’s time.” he said quietly, taking one of your hands in his.

“Time?” you asked, genuinely confused. 

“Time for me to tell you what I do… who I am.” he told you.

From the De Sede chair, Ji Yong cleared his throat. “Technically, we’re telling you what we do… who we are, because we’re a team.” he said with a reassuring smile.

Seung Hyun sighed. “Just… watch…” and he pointed the remote at the television.

He hadn’t wanted to do it like this, but the others had convinced him that showing you that he was an idol would be better than just telling you. After all, this way you would immediately know it was the truth & not just him trying to pull a prank.

You turned to the screen, still holding one of Seung Hyun’s hands in yours. The first thing you saw was a beautiful looking owl perched on a street lamp, with some sort of chain link fence in the background. The silence continued as it switched to show a man sitting on a throne, as his impossibly long, orange-red hair spilled out on the floor beside him.

The first electronic chords startled you when they came through the speakers & filled the quiet room and you jumped a bit as the man’s voice started speaking…

“Yeogi buteora, modu moyeora…”

Your head tilted to the side. He looked so familiar… but they hadn’t shown a good look at his entire face, so you couldn’t be sure. Before you could say anything the scene changed again back to the chain link fence and a rather imposing group of people in gas masks.

Your brain had yet to really grasp the strangeness of the scene & then it switched back to the man on the throne again, this time showing you his whole face. The hand that wasn’t currently wrapped around Seung Hyun’s shot up to cover your mouth in surprise.

“That’s…. that’s you!” you said in shock as you looked at Ji Yong & pointed at the television. He just smirked and nodded, gesturing for you to turn your attention back to the video.

You turned back just in time to see Young Bae sitting on another throne, looking completely different from the man you’d come to know. For one thing, you knew that almost all those tattoos were fake & for another, you had never seen him with black hair or with a mohawk.

You glanced at him as he sat on the floor of your living room and he was all smiles, silently mouthing the words to his part of the song. You shook your head in disbelief and looked back at the video.

When what you were pretty sure was the chorus hit, you couldn’t help but smile and kind of bob your head along to the beat… it was just so catchy. You watched entranced as the Ji Yong in the video sang the next verse. You vaguely wondered why Seung Hyun’s hand had begun tightening around yours, his hand now holding yours in a death grip as if he were afraid you were going to run.

And then… then it felt like your entire world shattered.

The moment that the next words reached your ears, before you even got a good look at the person, you knew that it was Seung Hyun. But nothing could have prepared you for the actual sight of the blue-haired god on the screen in front of you when the camera zoomed in. Your breath came in short pants as you tried to prevent yourself from hyperventilating from how damn sexy he looked.

“I…. I…. You’re…. you’re a….” you stammered, incapable of forming an entire sentence.

“I’m a rapper.” he clarified, quietly.

You wanted to say something else, but were distracted by the music and the video. Focusing back on the screen just in time to see a very muscled and shirtless Daesung pop onto the T.V.

“Oh my god!” you yelled in surprise. “I was not expecting that!”

You heard Daesung laugh from where he was sitting on the other side of Seung Hyun. And then you found yourself getting lost in the chorus again, slowly becoming accustomed to seeing ‘the guys’ in this new light.

“Oh wow, goofball… you look good.” you said as you smiled at him where he was sitting on the other side of you.

“Always the tone of surprise…” he smirked.

You smacked him playfully on the arm & then Seung Hyun’s voice coming from the television drew your gaze to it once again.

“Boomshakalaka…” his smooth, deep voice called to you like a siren song.

You felt your eyes flutter closed so you could really appreciate the effect that hearing his voice like this was having on you. It had been weeks since you had last been together intimately & you couldn’t help the small wave of lust you were feeling for the man sitting next to you.

When at last the song changed again, you felt Seungri gently nudge you with his elbow.

“________-ah! You’re going to miss my part!” he whined.

Your eyes sprung open and a faint blush tinged your cheeks because of your wayward thoughts, but you didn’t think that anyone had noticed.

What you saw next was enough to make you slap your free hand over your eyes. Your 'little brother’ posing as a sex symbol and surrounded my latex-clad women with kitten ears was something you had never thought you’d see.

“No…nope… can’t do it!” you said, laughing.

“What? Everyone else gets a good reaction but me?” Seungri asked.

“Sorry… I just never, ever want to see you being sexy… ever again.” you explained.

“Gee, thanks…” he mumbled as everyone but Seung Hyun cackled with laughter.

“You know what I mean!” you said.

After that, the Seung Hyun on the screen beckoned you to once again focus on him and you quietly watched the rest of the video, smiling and rocking along with the music. When it was over, Seung Hyun switched off the TV & the silence that overtook the room was deafening.

“Well?” Daesung finally asked, unable to stand the quiet any longer.

“That was…” you started to say, but Ji Yong held his hand up to stop you.

“I swear, _________-ah… if you say 'Fantastic Baby’, I’m going to disown you.” he said with a smile.

You laughed out loud at that, a full on belly laugh, the type that you hadn’t had since before your 'incident’ (as you had come to think of it).

“No… I wasn’t going to say that.” you said through your laughter. “I was going to say that it was amazing.”

“Amazing?” Young Bae peered up at you from the floor. “I can live with that.”

“So you’re all…?” you found that you couldn’t finish the question.

“We’re a group called Bigbang.” Ji Yong explained, leaning forward in the chair. “We debuted in 2006 and now…” he shruggged, “now we are referred to as the kings of our industry. Your boyfriend over there is one of the biggest idols in the music business.”

“Hmmmm…” you said thoughtfully, turning to look at Seung Hyun who still had yet to say anything. “That explains a lot actually.” you told him with a smile.

His eyebrows creased together as he asked, “Like what?”

“The changing hair color… and the make up… and the clothes.” you winked at him. “For the longest time I was convinced that you were a model.”

“Oh, sometimes we do that too.” Seungri piped up beside you.

Your eyes went wide in surprise. “Okay… a rapper and a model. Anything else you need to tell me?” you asked your boyfriend

He sighed. “I’m also an actor. That’s why I was in Germany without the others.”

“Wow… I… uh…” you were at a loss for words. Your boyfriend of the past 3 years was a famous rapper/model/actor and you suddenly felt very insecure about yourself. Compared to him, actually compared to them all, you were a nobody.

“Are you okay, gongju-nim?” Seung Hyun asked, his face worried.

“Yeah, I… um… just, give me a minute, okay?” you asked him, giving his hand a squeeze where it still rested in yours.

He nodded. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”

Without another word, you slowly got up from the sofa and walked towards the kitchen. You needed some space and silence where you could think this through without the guys watching you and waiting to see what you would say.

As soon as the kitchen door swung shut behind you the men around Seung Hyun all expressed their indignation at once.

“What are you doing?” “Go after her!” “You have to talk to her, hyung” “Why are you just sitting there?” 

Seung Hyun held up his hand to stop them.

“I know what I’m doing. She needs some time alone and I’ve learned that the best thing to do is to give it to her.” he said, the tone of his voice implying that he would not argue the point with them any further.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the kitchen, you were pacing back and forth, a glass of water clutched in your hands.

You knew you couldn’t really be mad at Seung Hyun for not telling you sooner. In fact, you could think of two separate instances where he actually had attempted to explain things to you and you had stopped him from doing so.

The more you thought about it, the more certain things began to click into place for you: why he couldn’t stay at the art auction, why the two of you had never really been on a 'normal date’, how he had come to be utterly exhausted when returning from Germany, why he had put off his enlistment… and many others… last, but certainly not least, why that crazy woman had attacked you.

The cold hard truth was that you were in love with a celebrity. And, for whatever reason, you knew that he was in love with you as well. You didn’t know why the truth about what he did should make a difference in your relationship with him. In a way, it might make things easier now that you could understand his crazy schedule a little better.

The only question you had left to ask yourself was: Could you live without him?

After just a moment, you came to your conclusion, dumped the rest of water and set the glass in the sink, striding confidently out of the kitchen to tell Seung Hyun just how you felt.

When the door swung open again, five sets of eyes zeroed in on you anxiously as you crossed over to stand in front of Seung Hyun, hands on your hips.

“Okay, I’ve thought about it… and there’s only one way that this is going to work out.” you said.

Seung Hyun swallowed the lump in his throat nervously. “How is that, _________-ah?”

You finally took pity on him and sat down next to him, taking his hands in yours. “For the past three years and more, I’ve come to know and love you Seung Hyun. The only way this can work is if I get to keep you.”

He looked at you in confusion and you took a breath as you struggled to say what you meant. “I’m sure that your fans love you too, but… they love you as…. What’s your stage name?”

He smiled at you then. “T.O.P.”

“Okay then, how this is going to work is that I get to keep Choi Seung Hyun, the man I fell in love with and your fans get to keep T.O.P, the man they fell in love with.” you said.

“But aren’t they one in the same?” Daesung asked.

“No… I don’t think they are.” you said, still looking Seung Hyun in the eyes.

“Smart girl…” you heard Ji Yong chuckle from his place in the chair.

“Are you sure, gongju-nim?” Seung Hyun asked, his voice hopeful.

“I’m sure.” you told him confidently.

“In that case…” he said as he stood up, pulling you with him. “I need you to come with me.”

Still holding your hand he pulled you over to the space in front of the picture window, a place that held many special memories for the two of you. Turning you around so that you faced the window, you felt Seung Hyun step up close behind you.

Moving your hair out of the way, he leaned forward and placed a kiss to the clasp of your locket where it rested against the skin of your neck… just as he had when he put it on you.

“Put your hands up so you can catch it.” he said quietly, his fingers already working to unfasten it. The necklace slid from around your neck and into your hands.

Seung Hyun leaned over and whispered in your ear. “Open it, ________-ah.” he said & then he stepped away from you.

Smiling to yourself, you carefully popped the locket open to reveal a small rectangle of pink paper. You reached out and took it in trembling fingers, slowly unfolding it. Looking down, you saw Seung Hyun’s familiar handwriting scrawled across the small space & you read what he had written… his secret message that you had been carrying for over two years now.

_“Will you marry me?”_


End file.
